Labyrinth of suffering

The night makes her vulnerable,

And the smile refuses to fool other people.

All of her broken pieces glued together start to fall apart,

And the paralyzing pain start to stab the heart.

The secrets get ready to spill out of her eyes,

As she starts to paste a story full of sweet lies.

Some nights, she laughs too much and then starts to cry.

The fears crawl up and she questions "why?"

She'd like to live but she'd also like die for sure;

Apparently, she's not sure of what she craves more.

As this absurd thought escapes the darkest corner of her mind,

She instantly goes blind.

People who believe that she's blessed,

Certainly have no idea that she's full of self hatred.

She's struggling between the thought of wanting, 

Someone to hold her and tell her that it's alright.

And the thought of putting an end to this labyrinth of suffering,

Right here tonight.

Last Notes!

Letter #1

Dear Mum and Dad,

I’m sorry I am dead. I’m sorry I couldn’t make you happy and proud before dying. Today when you left, I found out your son has been filming me secretly. I don’t know for how long he had been doing that. I found five videos of me sleeping, on his laptop. He may have also filmed me while I was changing my clothes. I couldn't find more videos. His laptop’s camera was on and it was facing my bed when I decided to check his laptop to see if he was spying on me again and yes he was. He has done that before too. He had taken my half naked pictures before. I wish you had done something when I told you that he used to grope me in my sleep. That happened for a year and now this. I don’t know what to do. I don't even feel like a person anymore. I just feel like a cheap sex toy. First molestation, then taking my inappropriate pictures and now secretly filming me while I sleep. The only thing that is left is finding those pictures and videos on the internet in a porn site. I know, you love your son but he makes me sick. I was thinking of forgiving him and moving on but I cannot. I cannot live in the same room with him. I deleted the videos. I think he has more of it but I can’t find them. He has given me a wound that doesn't heal and a scar that's gonna remain forever if I stayed alive. I’m sorry that this is all in English but I suck at speaking/writing Hindi. I love you both a lot. Please know that. And I’m sorry I’m being selfish but I want to bleed out right now.

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Letter #2

Dear Diyanah,

I hope you're alright babe. I hope you get enough strength to face the problems. I hope you find someone who gives you unconditional love. Someone who makes you feel beautiful. I don't have much to say. Thanks for being there for me and listening to all of my rants. I'm sorry I'm leaving. I still remember the last words that you said to me. You are beautiful and you deserve better. I want you to get better and live. I love you. 

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Letter #3

Dear Marko,

There's this huge conversation gap between us and I didn't get enough time to fix it. I actually felt tired all the time and I couldn't do that. I caused you a lot of troubles when we were closer. I hope you get to move out and live your dreams. I'm probably dead by now. Please don't do this to yourself as well, okay? It will get better. Take care of Raed and yourself of course. I love you. 

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Letter #4

Dear Tony,

I'm sorry about my messy head. I never got a chance to apologize nicely. You are a great person. You did make an impact in my life. And dude, for one last time, I need you to know that I'm not in parasocial relationship with you. I did have a crush on you but I don't even think about you anymore. More than being your lover, I wanted to be your friend. Thanks for making me feel better in my bad days. I hope you find love. Don't kill yourself. I love you.

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Letter #5

Dear Juan,

Goddammit you said you'd post a new selfie! You haven't yet. And now I'm dead. Bummer. I'm pretty sure you're a 50 year old man! :O Nah, just Kidding. I am sorry I didn't tell you a lot of things. I didn't want to scare you away I guess. Apparently, I'm one of those suicidal freaks, huh? Miss me, Juan. I love you. Fix your sleeping schedule mister! xD

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Letter #6

Dear Meraz,

Sorry. I should have told you. I don't know what greatness you see in me. I'm thankful for having a friend like you. Thanks for saving me. Thanks for being there. I don't want to saved this time. I'm ending this. I love you. I hope you have a great life. I hope you get to marry the girl you love. She's so lucky to have you. Tell her, I love her too.

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Letter #7

Dear Sunakshi di, Aditi, Adeeba, Ayushi, Laddoo and Nida,

I miss talking to you guys but I don't really come forward and talk to you because I really cannot and I don't know what to say anymore. You guys have always been there to support me. You all are such strong women. I cannot thank you all enough. I think you'd understand why I did this. I love you guys. Hope you all have great lives.

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Letter #8

Dear Minhaz,

I didn't think we'd turn into such good friends. Well I really hope you did think of me as a good friend and you weren't using me. It felt good to know that someone cared. Miss me, Minhaj. Miss me. You're an awesome person. Stay that way. I guess you and others from the class now know the reason that has kept me sad. And why I didn't care about what my brother did. Good luck for the upcoming exams. Love ya and others.

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Letter #9

Dear Sir,

You know who you are and that's why I'm not mentioning your name. I'm not sure if you'd like it or not and that's why I'm not mentioning it here. It's always been great talking to you. I love how we could talk for hours about anything and everything. From college rantings to pursuing our dreams. I never told you about my problems but you somehow managed to drift my mind and also showed me the right path. I guess I am not going to be a writer and you won't be clicking my picture since I'm ending my journey before even starting it. I have respected you a lot. You are a great person and only a few people realize that. I hope you get live your dreams. Please take care of yourself.

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Letter #10

Dear Jesse,

Ah dude, we just started talking again this is how it is ending. Damn, we couldn't even skype. I know you have a hard life too. I hope it becomes a little easier. I really don't have a lot to say. We kind of have similar views on life and other things. I'm glad to meet and know someone like you before dying. You are the last person to make me feel so happy. Thanks for that. May be we'll meet in another life and do all the things that we planned to do in this life.  BYE AMERICAN BEST FRIEND. I LOVE YOU.

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Letter #11

Dear Abhishek dada,

Uh I screwed it up huh. I have been feeling terribly since the day I called out on you on my blog. You did know what he did to me and that's when you told me that you'd be my brother and protect me. I do respect you a lot and I love you a lot. I just screw it up sometimes. I wish we talked more. You are a great brother and an amazing kind human. I hope you become super successful in life. Thanks for making me happy dada. Wish I could meet you and have the "real" and good sibling experience. And like I promised you long ago, I would have bought you a watch.

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Letter #12

Dear Raed,

Don't frown or get pissed off because I wrote your letter last. Dude, I was trying to save the best for the last. I talk to you so much and it's still not enough for me. And wish you could just see how hard it is for me. One of the saddest thing in my life is that you don't understand me or life. I don't tell people anything about my anxiety or depression and bad life and they think I overreact. I tell you everything and you think just like them. I don't take depression as an excuse for my actions but you were supposed to understand. I know you will probably think that I overreacted and exaggerated this. And suicide is a terrible excuse for what my brother did to me. But it's not just that. You are supposed to know that DAMMIT! You were supposed to give me strength rather than calling me weak and coward. I won't be troubling you anymore. Yay Shgt is dying!

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Letter #13

Dear Everyone else,

Thank you so much if you have ever made me smile or have just stayed in my life while I was going through bad phase. Thanks a lot. Thanks for being there for me and supporting me. Thanks for making me feel loved. You all are great. I hope you guys get to see happy days. Forgive me for all the lame, pathetic stuffs I did. I love you guys a lot. I really do.

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P.S. I'm alive. I'm not dead. Sorry for giving you a minor  heart attack there. I started typing this out with an intention to post it on my blog as a suicide note. I was going to kill myself. I had a good opportunity since my parents were out of town and I was alone and my brother wasn't here either. I don't regret typing it out and posting it on my blog because it just made me feel a little better and hopefully I won't die tonight. I was definitely trying to kill myself by making deeper cuts on my skin. But none of them were deep enough to bleed me out. I'm also sorry for mentioning/not mentioning your names. Please don't try to help me by asking a social worker or psychiatrist to see/read this. Things will get better. I know that. If you know me in person then don't give me "I'm sorry, Shriti" look. Also try not to ever mention this at college or to anyone who hasn't read it yet.

"She is dying every second.."

The earth's spinning around;

Things are falling apart,

Lying is turning into art;

What can she do when her lips are sealed and hands are bound?

Life's taking a turn,

Everything's a mess inside,

A carefree person has died;

All she can do is feel it as her soul starts to burn.

A wild scenario making her reckless,

Letting her want to be dead;

How come it's so easy and not so bad?

No one could see it coming, I guess.

Been through almost everything way too before the end;

She can't forget the things done and words said;

Her eyes glitter with tears, making it puffy and red;

Only if you could realize, she is dying every second.

There's so much never ending pain,

She finds beauty in sadness,

She is being consumed by insanity, anxiety and darkness,

To the world, she'll just die in vain.

Roll up the long sleeves of her shirt,

May be you'll see something horrifying and peculiar,

Fresh cuts from previous night or may be some old scars,

She actually thinks that she is some sort of dirt.

"..It was all over.."

She was alright. Well, at least that's how she felt. She made others believe that too. She was a little different. She had changed. ..Because others wanted her to change and appreciate  life. This time she could handle all the thoughts and stress. She was contented with loneliness. She didn't complain and she tried to hide it all with her smile. Even she was confused about her feelings and this new change.

She kept smiling. People were not thinking that she was insane anymore. Everything seemed normal. Although she didn't really talk to a lot of people. But she had good acquaintance with everyone and specially online people. She was really close to one person. She used to tell him everything. The good, the bad and the ugly. But she wasn't able to tell him anything anymore 'cause she didn't know what she was thinking or feeling.

Two nights ago, she was alone. Her parents were asleep and so was her brother. She had no one to talk to. Her closest friend was gone for a movie, another friend who was like his sibling was busy with his official work. And then two others were busy studying for their exams. She wasn't getting paranoid. She looked calm even when the demons were dragging her to darkness. She was missing her best friend who passed away 3 years ago. She missed her all the time but that night she was missing her even more. She smiled when a tear escaped her eyes. She sat up and looked at the ceiling and whispered, "I'm sorry.."

She stood up and walked towards the bathroom. She went in and quietly looked for her dad's razor. She stuck it to her skin and moved it across her wrist. She started to bleed and cry. She saw a bottle of floor cleaner. She decided to drink it too. She reached out for it and remembered the last time she had tried to drink it. How it burned her throat and how she ended up puking. She grabbed the bottle and hold her breath and drank all of it. Tears rolled down her cheeks. She tried not to throw up but she did and collapsed on the ground. Her whole life flashed in front of her eyes. From smiling to crying, laughing to weeping and.. mourning. Everything. She said, "I'm sorry" once again and closed her eyes.

It was all over and she was gone. Leaving behind tears, questions and memories. She did love a lot of people. She was someone who used to fall in love again and again with places, moments, people and their actions. The little things people did for others and for her. She was exhausted. Exhausted of trying and trying again. She wanted it to end. And the demons inside her head made her do that.

Guest post for your awesome blog :))‏

Hello Hello, I think I am too late for this post but still I decided to write this one for my little sister :))

Its always tough to write a blogpost specilly for me (a non blogger and not so expressive person) *scratches head*. but still let me try.

Shriti you are like younger sister to me, you are a real fighter. You have faced very tough situations, Do you know after every dark night there is a bright sunshine. So a bright sunshine is waiting you.

I am still confused whether are you panda or penguin ??

*Out of words* All the best for future. .keep blogging

Keep Smiling :)

P.S : Your blog is the cutest blog I have ever seen :D

Abhishek.

"JUST IN CASE IF YOU'VE READ THE PREVIOUS POST WHICH WAS ACTUALLY A RANT BY ME(SHRITI). FORGET IT. I KNOW I WAS ANGRY AND STUFF. BUT JKDFGJKFSGL SO FAR THIS POST IS THE BEST. ^_^ Abhi da is like an elder brother to me. I've always wanted one elder brother. But then one day I realized that I cannot have an elder brother 'cause I am already the eldest one!(oops) I met him at the point where I was literally hating the word "brother" He has supported me a lot. At times, I get mad at him. Like I did earlier. I respect/trust/love people 'cause of their actions. Abhi da, I'm sorry that I got mad at you. I feel terrible. I shouldn't take decisions when I'm angry or upset. ._.

Edge.

My thoughts never leave me alone.

And nor does my feelings or fears.

It's been a week; 

Somehow survived it without tears.

It's all there, hidden and bottled up.

I'm equally insane as you,

And, I bet that you won't find it true.

My days are getting better,

And, I've started thinking that may be I do matter?

Like someone's praying for me and my fate,

'cause God and me are not friends yet.

I wake up, and plan my day;

But, dang! Procrastination takes it all away.

I almost have no complaints and no regrets.

It's something that I want.

And my greed still needs a lil more.

I am still struggling with my thoughts,

Whether to overlook the vile intentions

Or still maintain the distances?

Forget the people but not the pain,

Or forget the pain but not the people.

Focus on what I need,

Or focus on what I have.

It's more like I'm doing it for everyone else,

But, those people are forgetting to ask how I really am.

I'm sorry, I barely appreciate what you do, 

Or have done for me.

I expect nothing, 'cause I've already given up.

And the only thing I have is this body, that I already detest.

I'm on the edge of ending it all.

I really want to do it so I won't let you know.

Outburst.

"..What I want, I can't have. What I have, I don't need. What I seek, I can't find. What I found, I can't deal with. What I've dealt with, I never deserved it..."

Why do I get so frustrated? Is it normal? I didn't go to college on Monday. Because, I don't know. There's just no point of doing anything anymore. Everything is so screwed up. I hate those people at my college anyways. I am so sick of everything that's happening around! Of course people want to have a new start of their lives but it doesn't mean that they'll kick out the old ones outta their lives. I know most of the people who'll read this are going to tell me "it's okay", "happens to everyone", blah blah blah. I know dammit! I know. But I don't want it to happen anymore. I really want my happiness to last a  little longer. I really do. Why do even start trusting people? Why do I always end up telling them how much they mean to me? And, even when I tell them, why do they take me for granted? Is there any person with who I can share all these feelings? NO. 

I know I am ruining myself by thinking about the past and all the crap. And being suicidal or depressed. But, I am sorry. It's just me. You have no idea, what I want, what I am dealing with or what my family is dealing with. I understand their issues. But I want them to understand mine. And if anyone out there's thinking of helping me out then forget it. It's probably too late and pointless. You cannot do anything about it. Stay away from me. You don't have to try to contact me or my family or anyone! YOU WILL JUST MAKE IT WORSE. I'll be fine hopefully.

To the person, who told me that I made my life this way.. if you're reading this then I wanna know what do you even know about me? Although, I have already replied to your comment on that post. So go check it and tell me again that I did it all and it's all my mistake!

Let me live?

India is changing. India is this. India is that. Blah blah blah. These are only words. Nothing else. Nothing has changed. It's still the same. People were stuck up then. People are stuck up now!

You call yourself human? Tell me what human is. Being the most superior creature on the earth doesn't make you human.

A couple of days back. Our maid's friend tried to kill herself. She got hit by a train. She is in the hospital right now. She had left a letter for her family in which she wrote about a lot of things. One of those things was, "Papa, you wanted me to kill myself, right? I am going. I am going to kill myself. I'm sorry for every pain I've caused you and mum and everyone." The reason behind her suicide attempt is stupid. I agree to that fact. She's in love with someone and blah blah. I don't know much. When our maid told us about it, my mum's reaction was, "Wow. Why didn't she just go and die if she really wanted to. Why did she leave a letter to blame his dad? If she had died, he'd understand that she did that because of him."

Really, how can she even think or talk about someone like that? She is worried about "getting parents blamed" for the whole suicide act. She is my mother and of course I love her. But such attitude is wrong. A couple of months back, I guess in April, when she had seen scars on my hand, her first reaction was: "Omg, why did you do that? What pain do we give you that you have to do this? Everyone will think we hurt you!"

..My mother was worried about what society is going to think. I didn't really say anything. Though I had done that because of her, her son and other people who made me think like I'm "waste of space" My parents are great. And, I love them. I'll never forgive you if try to hurt them or tried to do any sort of harm. But how they treat me.. hurts me. I hate being at home. I still remember the time when I had dreamed of having an amazing college life and everything but now I am just left with aches and pain.

You can live with all the insults and being caged in a house with all the facilities but I can't. I am not you. I have a life too. Yes, I want to move out. I don't want to be in India. This place has given me so much pain. I am not sure about life in other country but I do deserve a chance. It'll be hard for me to leave my parents behind. I love them way too much. But, I have to go and I want to go.

Parents expect us to fulfill all of their dreams in return of all the facilities they provide us and also expect us to stick to them. Why do we never get asked, what we want? I know I'll be called selfish and all kind of stuffs if I ever leave. To you, it may seem like a simple stupid rant or thought. But you haven't lived my life yet. Go ask my best friends how my days go by. They don't know the whole thing though. Because the only thing I get back is, "I'm sorry. Your parents are weird. Or I don't know what to say.."

Is there anyone who could tell me more than just "I don't know what to say?" I can go on and on with these sort of stuffs. It's not only getting physically and sexually abused. It's more than that. But I'll stop now. I'm sorry for such a long post.  Someone on tumblr told me about this song, "For you by Staind" It's sad that I can relate to every single word of that song. It's like, the song was composed for me.

To my mother, to my father,
It's your son or,

It's your daughter,

Are my screams loud enough for,

You to hear me, should I turn this up for you,

I sit here locked inside my head,
Remembering everything you said,
The silence gets us no where,
Gets us no where way too fast,

The silence is what kills me,
I need someone here to help me,
But you don't know,

How to listen,

And let me make,

My decision,

All your insults and your curses,
Make me feel like I'm not a person,

And I feel like I am nothing,

But you made me so,
Do something,

'Cause I'm ****ed up,
Because you all need attention,
Attention you couldn't give.

....

Changing one person's thought won't change the Indian society. Someone trying to kill themselves or self harming isn't a topic to laugh or gossip about. You never had to try those things. Congratulations. You're lucky. But, few people are not. It's a sad thing that people take such a big step of harming or killing themselves. Stop being so ignorant.

"..My fate's not letting me to die..."

The past crawls like the clouds,

And, the silence screams out loud.

Too much stuffs in my head; useless;

Makes feel like I'm nothing but a mess.

Bounded by the promises that I've made

I just want these memories to fade.

I wanna stay cocooned in my sorrow

And at times, I wanna let it go.

There's no turning back but I don't know where to go.

I wish if everything could freeze,

So I would embrace it all like a cold winter breeze,

Songs make me cry and memories make me sigh,

My fate's not letting me to die.

Choco's blah blah.

I fake a smile and they think I'm rejoicing. 

I laugh and they think everything is alright.

They'll never know how I survived last night.

I've promised and I'll be trying.

No matter how worse things get, I'll be fighting.

"You have really pretty eyes and an adorable smile, you should smile more often."

Sometimes people forget that the prettiest eyes hide the darkest lies and those eyes have shed more tears than any. Same goes with the smile. The saddest person has the most amazing smile. You know when you look into certain people's eye. You'll find a weird glow. The way they glitter is just amusing sometimes. Well, at least I find it amusing but may be that's what you call "sad eyes"? I have been told that I have "sad eyes" and I have know idea what does it mean but, blah, I don't know.. You just feel like the person is sad or something has been eating them up, you know? Well, I don't really look into people's eye anymore 'cause it makes me feel like they'll know everything that I've been hiding and I'll burst into tears.  

Anyways, ta-daa! I'm still alive. Breathing, smiling, laughing, jumping, dancing and singing too.. xD Just in case you are not aware of the fact that I  am in college now. And I cleared my 1st semester. :) Looking forward to 2nd semester and stuffs. 

"..wishing for this life to end.."

Another day has passed.

And now it's in the past.

Another tear will glitter with a hope.

Pills, razor, poison or rope?

Every option,

Takes you to your destination.

He is still perplexed to see you sad.

Wondering "what's going on inside your head?"

You cry and he's speechless.

He doesn't understand why do you think that you are a mess?

She died and they left you.

You cried and someone groped you.

That night you lost your smile and even your voice.

Only Lord knows that it wasn't your choice.

When you used words to reveal the truth.

One thousand souls laughed at you; called you "a crazy little youth"

They will never know.

They will never understand.

They can never see that you're wishing for your life's end.

I don't know anyone anymore.. They all seem strangers to me. May be I am feeling a bit too alone? I don't want to be an attention seeker by posting this here. I am not okay.. It's been a month now. I can't even concentrate on my studies. I screwed all my exams. My college friends are great but they live really far(literally more than 50 miles away). My best friend lives in Croatia. I don't feel like anyone cares anymore.. Don't think that my best friend cares either.. I am just so stupid. I am crying and typing this over here.. Don't know why? I really miss people who were once with me.. Everyone.. Even the ones I met over internet.. I just feel left out. When internet is your only social life. Things doesn't seem right.. I miss Raed, Juan, Prince, Manish, Saket, Sergi, Jake, Jasmine, Neeraj, Pratish, Srishti, Anubha, Darren, John, Rob, David.. and a lot of people.. Sunakshi di, you'll get mad at me if you read this.. I am sorry.. I'm sorry, I'm hiding stuffs from everyone. I am self harming again. It's going really wrong..

"I am truly a curse..." It won't really matter to me If you don't read the poem, it doesn't really make any sense I guess. I did a mistake and I should die instead of him. If anything happened to him then I wouldn't forgive myself.

One scary night, 

beneath the moon light,

I never wanted you to cry,

Nor to say good bye,

It was my grave mistake,

Your life was on stake,

It was a hex put on my words,

Didn't want a life of wizards.

I am truly a curse

I make things go worse.

This is the tuth,

You were my Ruth.

I am sorry, please come back once,

please come back and give me another chance.

P.S. Sometimes, you become so blind and selfish that you wish for stupid things like someone to leave. But don't do that because God can misunderstand you and He can take that person away forever from you and everyone. The person not only leaves you but he also has to leave the world.

Do me a favor and please pray for my friend? It was all my fault. I wanted him to go but not this way. It took me so long to understand that he was nice and sweet. If anything happened to him then I wouldn't forgive myself. It really sucks when you lose someone. He has to go through 2 surgeries. And there's 1/4th chances of him to die!

"You never lost and I never won.."

Things which belong to me are-
Tears, wounds, bruises and scars.
Hatred and Betrayal kisses my heart,
Like a razor blade it tears me apart.

"She was dying in her own dream-world.."

May be yes or may be no,

Sometimes high, sometimes low.

She giggled, she frowned,

She floated, she drowned,

in the river of mesmerising thoughts,

and millions of doubts.

Yes, she was scared to face the world all alone.

She couldn't help but just moan.

Pretty painful to see her dreams shatter,

For many it wasn't any matter,

She screamed, she cried,

Nothing was her pride,

They were all lost in pretty insane world,

While she was dying in her own dream-world.

"..your mem'ries.."

Wide awake at sleepy nights,

Your mem'ries left me with misty eyes,

 Love is me, love is you,

The distance between us is never few.

We are meant to be,

May be yes? I can see;

Shadows speak about lonliness,
But your mem'ries bring me solace.

When you smile,
My world stops there for a while.
Your mem'ries give me strength to survive,
Because of you I'm still alive. 

There's a lot of pain deep inside,
There are hundreds of secrets that I'd to hide,
You are not here, you are not near, I cannot reprise;
'cause all I have is your mem'ries.


P.S. umm to be honest, I really didn't like this one :/

This was supposed to be a mushy poem! :( But I wrote about me x_x

Ting Tang Tag!! :D

Hello there~~

       So I am tagged by two people. Madhumati and Selenium :3

So yesh this post is all about me :) Thank you for the tag ^_^ I was really willing to do a tag actually so yippeee here I go!
Tag #1 
By Madhumati
*My favourites* 

Food: I love food LOL. I really can't stay without chicken and fish V_V I love spicy Indian food and chineese food. :) 

Colour: I love a lot of colours o.o.. Black, blue, white and purple are my all time favourites :)

Sports: I used to play cricket with all the guys and I used to cry and call my mom when they never used to take me in their team lol and at nights I used to play football with my dad :)

Dessert: Pastries and chocolate ice creams XD

Artist/Singer/Brand: Secondhand Serenade, Owlcity, Jarrod Matthew, NeverShoutNever and I forgot :(

Pair of shoes: I wear heels(since I am short) and also I like belly shoes and other shoes LOL! :D

Outfit: Eh you'll find me more in jeans and capries and leggings sometimes. (No one wonder why they call me tomboy!! o.o)

Accessory:  I really don't like these stuffs at all -_-" but I wear earrings, a bracelet kinda thing O.o and a locket(I am forced to were that locket and bracelet)

Fav place: Home, Cad-B and Schooool. I miss school :(

Hobbies: Writing, blogging, drawing, texting, reading. :)

Beauty product: Lip balm and eye liner and that too sometimes :P

Snacks: Maggie and Ramen :3

Movies: Don't have a favourite but I prefer watching, funny action movies and romantic ones are okay. :P
-That's it-
I am tagging:
Kelvin
Sankoo baba
Suruchi
Ayu
Selenium
Prams di

Tag #2
By Selenium

RULES:
*Each tagged person must post ten things about themselves*
*You have to choose and tag ten people*
*Go to their blogs and tell them you tagged them*
*No tags back*
*Have fun*




Ten Things About Me:

I am very random o.o
I say "I love you" to everyone LOL
I love saying "is" as "ish" and yes as "yesh"

 

I am in a long distance relationship :O
When I see any couple kissing then it creeps me out o_e 
I am 17 and I still hate talking or listening to "mature" and "vulgar" talks.(It creeps me out seriously. I even cried once when my friends where talking about it :P)

I am a slowpoke x_x
I don't get creepy messages from anyone because I never understand them!! :|

Friendship means everything to me and also love O.o
I get suicidal thoughts all the time which is not good. I have already tried to kill myself 5 times!!

And the tag goes to:
Ali
Hailey
Madhumati
Valli
Riya
YAM
Sawan
Nofairytale
Angel
Pavitra