Monday, January 7, 2013

"..It was all over.."

She was alright. Well, at least that's how she felt. She made others believe that too. She was a little different. She had changed. ..Because others wanted her to change and appreciate  life. This time she could handle all the thoughts and stress. She was contented with loneliness. She didn't complain and she tried to hide it all with her smile. Even she was confused about her feelings and this new change.

She kept smiling. People were not thinking that she was insane anymore. Everything seemed normal. Although she didn't really talk to a lot of people. But she had good acquaintance with everyone and specially online people. She was really close to one person. She used to tell him everything. The good, the bad and the ugly. But she wasn't able to tell him anything anymore 'cause she didn't know what she was thinking or feeling.

Two nights ago, she was alone. Her parents were asleep and so was her brother. She had no one to talk to. Her closest friend was gone for a movie, another friend who was like his sibling was busy with his official work. And then two others were busy studying for their exams. She wasn't getting paranoid. She looked calm even when the demons were dragging her to darkness. She was missing her best friend who passed away 3 years ago. She missed her all the time but that night she was missing her even more. She smiled when a tear escaped her eyes. She sat up and looked at the ceiling and whispered, "I'm sorry.."

She stood up and walked towards the bathroom. She went in and quietly looked for her dad's razor. She stuck it to her skin and moved it across her wrist. She started to bleed and cry. She saw a bottle of floor cleaner. She decided to drink it too. She reached out for it and remembered the last time she had tried to drink it. How it burned her throat and how she ended up puking. She grabbed the bottle and hold her breath and drank all of it. Tears rolled down her cheeks. She tried not to throw up but she did and collapsed on the ground. Her whole life flashed in front of her eyes. From smiling to crying, laughing to weeping and.. mourning. Everything. She said, "I'm sorry" once again and closed her eyes.

It was all over and she was gone. Leaving behind tears, questions and memories. She did love a lot of people. She was someone who used to fall in love again and again with places, moments, people and their actions. The little things people did for others and for her. She was exhausted. Exhausted of trying and trying again. She wanted it to end. And the demons inside her head made her do that.

1 comment:

adreamygal said...

Dark. As far as reading is concerned, ending is fine. But in real life, the very thought shudders.