Tuesday, March 26, 2013

"Have you ever felt like it's your last day on earth.."

Have you ever felt like it's your last day on earth,
With all the people you love?

And everything will be gone in a few minutes,
And finally people will see the scars on your arms of your old cuts.

They'll listen to your screams and see your pain,
But still call you names.

Just one bolt from the blue to knock you down,
And they won't ever see you or your unpleasing frown.

It will be too late,
They will still hate.

It will be your end,
With your own hand.

You will stop seeing,
You will stop feeling.

You will stop listening,
You will stop breathing.

You will do it all, just to end the pain.
And people'd think you couldn't walk a mile in the rain.

You will leave everyone behind to miss your absence,
And regret for not understanding your silence.

How scary is that thought?
How messed up is your life?

Try to pour out all your feelings and thoughts on a piece of paper,
And finally apologize for doing it, in that one letter.

Monday, March 25, 2013

Being gay is not a choice.

You know, I've known and met more gay/lesbian/bisexual/queer/transsexual people. Not in person but online. Many of them are my really good friends. And I know you would say that knowing someone from the internet is a complete different thing. To you, may be it is a different thing but to me it's not.

I was 16 when I came across the word "gay" and actually understand it. There was this guy. He was of 15. We met on this site name "myYearbook"(The site has been shut down) and we became friends after a couple of days. I told him about me and my secrets and he did the same. His biggest secret was that he was bisexual. I've known that person for 3 years now. We have a great time together. My mum knows about him. He is one of the closest friends. And he is amazing. 

He lives in a country where they don't accept gay people. Just like India. He hasn't told his family or friends yet because he is scared and he thinks of killing himself. But I don't let him too. I don't hate him. I love him because he is a wonderful person and believe it or not he has saved my life a lot of times. I bet there are more people like him in India too. It's sad that people think that homosexuality is a disease. It's freaking not. 

Do you have any idea with what they go through? Their thoughts, their fear of coming out to everyone, their feelings of dying, consequences after coming out and everything. Why do you forget that they are human too. Why bully them? Why hate them just because they are bisexual/gay/lesbian/queer/transsexual. 

I remember my mum and I were watching TV. And there was something about gay people I guess it was a episode of "My big decision or something" My mum was saying mean things about transsexual and gay people. Because she didn't know it. And I told her that what she is saying is pointless and mean and it's not their fault. Being gay is not a choice. And transsexual people are those people who never feel right about themselves as in, they feel like they're in wrong body. After explaining her everything. She was quiet and I was proud.

Does anyone remember Harish Iyer from Satyamev Jayate's episode of child sexual abuse? He visited my blog and read my blog post where I mentioned about getting sexually abused. He even offered me help which I denied for own personal reasons. He was so nice that he gave me his number. He is gay, right? He could have ignored me just because I am straight. Like some of you people ignore/hate/disown them just because they're homosexual/Transsexual. But he didn't do it.

The point behind telling you about my stories is that I don't want you to say that I am talking "crap" and I know "nothing". I've met them. I've talked to them. And I don't see any difference. It's not their fault that they are attracted to people of similar sex. They are created that way. They can never be attracted towards someone of opposite sex. By beating them up, disowning them, you cannot make them straight. They won't freaking rape you. They understand that you're straight and they always know that you won't fall in love with them or be attracted towards you. So why can't you just accept who they are?

I've been called gay/bisexual/lesbian. I freaking don't mind it because I don't find it offensive. Not even a single bit. But you button head people out there, stop calling everything and everyone "gay" just because they are bad/lame. If it's bad then say it's bad. If it's lame, just say that it's lame. Some guys marry guys. Some girls marry girls. Get over it.

I guess the basic reason why our society is so messed is the movies. They present it in wrong way most of the times. They do not dress in a girl way or talk like that. Real life is nothing like movies. But I am glad that it's changing a bit. Like this show "Suvreen Guggal: Topper of the year" There is this guy "Zorro". Ever tried to observe his character? That's what reality is. They are scared and broken. Their family disowns them. But they're still happy with their friends and they do anything for them. They may have a crush on you but they won't harm you or rape you because of sexual frustration.

Homophobia is not a fear. You are just an ignorant moron. Try watching documentaries and stuffs about coming out, accepting themselves and transsexualism. It will help you understand them better.

To do the least, don't hate your own brother, your own sister, your own son and daughter, and your own friends just because they came out to you. They are nothing different. They are the same person you've always known. I am really glad that there are people like Josh Hutcherson, Daniel Redcliffe, Anne Hathway and Zayn Malik and others.

I wish we had people like them in India too.

I support LGBTQ rights. And I am proud of it. If you're someone who is Gay/Lesbian/Bisexual/Transgender/Queer, please know that I am here for you. And I support you. Be proud of who you are. 
If you need anymore help, please check out this "List" of NGOs and contact details. There are different NGOs working in India for LGBTQ rights. 

The "Trikone" foundation is one such organisation. Trikone is a registered 501(c)(3) non-profit organization for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) people of South Asian descent. Founded in 1986 in the San Francisco Bay Area, Trikone is the first group of its kind in the world.
You can also contact "Mr. Harish Iyer". He has counselled several young men and women and help them 'come out' and deal with their sexual orientation in a healthy way.
Stay Strong. It's time for them to change.

I do not support gay marriage. I support marriage. And marriage is a union of two people who love each other. Stop bullying them. You will end up killing them.

"This post was written for 'iDiya' contest hosted by 'Indiblogger'"

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

summer night.

It's summer night but I am getting chills.
There are so many things that this heart feels.
Of course things turned out messy and it hasn't got better yet. 
And everything around me is making me upset.
A part of me is dying.
A part of me is missing. 
I don't know how to feel good again. 
I don't know if I'll get to see the rainbow after the rain.
I cannot even shed a tear 'cause I'll have to explain,
everything that's 'causing this pain.
The feeling of emptiness has started to crawl,
And every person has began to make me feel so small.
I don't know for how long can I face it,
Before deciding to end it all and quit.

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Someday the society will change.

They say, 
"Keep it to yourself,
And Hide,
Because what you see, 
And the way you see it,
is a travesty."

They say,
"Seal your lips,
Don't utter a word,
Because every word of yours
Will start a rebellion and that too,
Against you!"

They say,
"Keep faking a smile,
Don't let the frown show up on your face,
Because you're messed up,
You're a different being,
But you've to do everything to fit in."

Your virgin eyes and ears,
Have been through everything they could,
But how much a person can take,
And ignore the remarks they make?

Keep hoping, keeping wishing
Someday your misery will end,
Someday the society will change,
Accept everything that they find evil and strange.

Friday, March 8, 2013


I don't remember,
I don't understand,
How does it feel like to be weightless?
No burden on your weak shoulders,
No fear in your fragile heart.
Getting everything you want,
Sleeping through the night with no bad thoughts.

I don't remember,
I don't understand,
How does it feel like to be weightless?
Having a life without misery,
Being anything you want to be.
Smiling and laughing like you've got nothing to regret,
To naive to understand society's threat.

I don't remember,
I don't understand,
How does it feel like to be weightless?
Do you know how?
Can you tell me now?
Because I really wanna feel light,
I really wanna feel weightless.

Sunday, March 3, 2013

"..If only they knew.."

If only they knew what it's like to be you,
And how it feels to walk a few miles with sand in the shoes,
May be they would stop hurting and never try bringing you down.
If only they knew how fragile is your heart,
And how much it aches,
May be they wouldn't do anything to tear it apart.
If only they knew what's inside your head,
And why you stay numb and awake in your bed,
May be they would stop calling you names.
If only they knew what you do to ease and stop the pain,
Convincing yourself that it's not the end,
May be they wouldn't throw out their misery at you.
If only they knew what it's like to be careful in city of fools,
And how bravely you've been fighting away all your inner demons,
May be they would stop staring at you and do something to save you.