Sunday, December 30, 2012

Hey it's me Raed! :D

   Hi I am Raed one of the oldest followers of Her lame Blog!

First of all, Shriti reminds me of Lilo.  
Why you say? Well it's mostly her childish attitude and that potato nose of hers! It's quiet funny and it took forever for me to find that she resembles Lilo.The more pictures and blogs you read,the more you'll see the resemblance..

We became friends after she randomly followed me LOOONG ago where we became friends and she put up with my Dyslexic writing style and spelling errors while I read her interesting blogs ! And then then she added me on fb which I found quiet creepy (Just kidding xD) and we started chatting stuff.It was funny and the chats had never ended.Then somehow we now ended up on twitter (Follow me UGLYRAED ) where I have to put up with her tweets.Twitter is a blast when She's around!So if you're not following her,then go ahead!!!
A month ago,I asked her to give me the 400th guest post slot and HOORAY I got it!So I took the opportunity to share more about this crazy maniac!
But you all have to know one vital thing,mess with her and she'll make your life a living hell...

               
 Yes she has super powers 0_0
Even though I barely read her depressing blogs now,you must know that she's one happy penguin! She eats chocolate,acts random and gets a head ache the following day.And when she gets a headache,you don't want to her on her wrong side



Don't tell me I didn't warn you!!!

Be on her good side and you'll have a super cool online friend an awesome time!


I never made a guest post before so I hope that you all had a nice time reading it! Stay Awesome!


Raed :)


Yes my name is Ra'ed! Call me Read and I'll chop your face after I cast one of the unforgivable curse on you!


Monday, December 24, 2012

Guest post for your awesome blog :))‏



Hello Hello, I think I am too late for this post but still I decided to write this one for my little sister :))

Its always tough to write a blogpost specilly for me (a non blogger and not so expressive person) *scratches head*. but still let me try.

Shriti you are like younger sister to me, you are a real fighter. You have faced very tough situations, Do you know after every dark night there is a bright sunshine. So a bright sunshine is waiting you.
I am still confused whether are you panda or penguin ??

*Out of words* All the best for future. .keep blogging

Keep Smiling :)

P.S : Your blog is the cutest blog I have ever seen :D


"JUST IN CASE IF YOU'VE READ THE PREVIOUS POST WHICH WAS ACTUALLY A RANT BY ME(SHRITI). FORGET IT. I KNOW I WAS ANGRY AND STUFF. BUT JKDFGJKFSGL SO FAR THIS POST IS THE BEST. ^_^ Abhi da is like an elder brother to me. I've always wanted one elder brother. But then one day I realized that I cannot have an elder brother 'cause I am already the eldest one!(oops) I met him at the point where I was literally hating the word "brother" He has supported me a lot. At times, I get mad at him. Like I did earlier. I respect/trust/love people 'cause of their actions. Abhi da, I'm sorry that I got mad at you. I feel terrible. I shouldn't take decisions when I'm angry or upset. ._.

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Keep Calm, and read this post.

Um, I really don't know what to say or where so start from. I am bad at starting a topic. I suck, I know.
Firstly, let me thank this Panda for including me in the guest post series. This means a lot for me. Seriously.
Secondly, congratulations for completing almost 400 posts on the blog. This ain't a small figure.
It's been like, few months since I first visited this blog. It got me awestruck. I could immediately relate my life's story to one of the posts here. (You know which one I'm talking about.)
I got you on Twitter, we shared numbers & you eventually became an important part of my little world. I usually take a lot of time to trust anyone, but you were, truly an exception.
I so adore and love this blog that there has not been a single day that I've not visited the blog.
I love the way every post has been written. The way you jot down your feelings into such beautiful poetic lines. And yes. You are truly inspiring.
You are that person I'd never want to lose. I really really love you. Though I know you don't. :P
And yeah, I love annoying you. I can't help it. But if you don't like it so...shup! I will annoy you anyway.
Just keep blogging. I want this blog to be alive forever.
Alright, I'm running out of words now. I'll end it here.
P.S. Yes. I'm bad at ending a topic too.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

"I'm going to come back for you, though."

It was just another day for Sam Marquez as she made her way to the Montecito casino. She had been to her suite only at dawn, but hell, she was the best casino host in the world and workaholic was her middle name! 
She walked to the lobby only to stop half way ..

"Jeremy?" she said softly but the man her gaze stopped at looked back at her, grinning and walked up to her.
"Hi Sam" he said.
"Hi" she replied, looking dazed.

*A Year Ago*

"I felt... love," she says. "Every Christmas, every birthday, I sat by your bedside... you're my best friend... you're my only friend."
"Sam l-"
"No, let me finish, or I won't be able to get this out. You brought me here from Texas Jer. We were going to start a new life in Las Vegas together. I remember.
I visited you each time that I could. And I prayed for you to be fine... When you hit your head on the slot machine, they told me you were in a coma, that you might never wake up and  I , I, didn't know what to do..."
"But I'm fine now,Sam. I know it's been 20 years. Heck, I didn't believe it until the doctor told me. I am scared Sam." Jeremy said, stroking her hair, "I don't know what's going on around me. I barely recognized myself. But the doctor told me that a lady used to keep coming and I figured it'd be you. The nurse gave me your number and so here I am! Come with me Sam, let's go make a new life together. I love you"

She took a deep breath and with tears in her eyes said,  "I know Jeremy. But a few years from now, you might decide you want something more, someone better, someone who isn't me. And I can't have that. You have a lot to catch up on. You, you need to go see the world."
I'm going to come back for you, though."
"I'll be here," she said, kissing him.

.........

"I am here"
"You came back" she said, mostly to herself.
"Yes, I told you I'd be back Sam. I told you I'd be coming back for you" Jeremy said, kissing her forehead.

The one in white is Sam :')

Congratulations Shriti, 400 posts is such a brilliant achievement =D !
I wish you loads and loads beautiful, inspiring and wonderful posts.
You're an amazing, strong, really intelligent :D girl, and I wish you all the best of luck in everything (:

I haven't been writing since almost a month now, and I was wondering what I would, for this guest post when suddenly Las Vegas popped up on my TV screen and this is what I could manage. I hope you like it when you read it Shriti.
Much much much love and hugs
X
Blahblaholic 



[Disclaimer : The characters of this story are not my property. The comatose man meeting Sam really did happen (Season 4.14 : The Burning Bedouin). This is my spin off of what I would want there to be. The dialogues that are italicized are taken directly from the show. Sam's dialogue telling him to catch up on isn't 100% accurate, but as it isn't mine entirely, it is italicized too.]

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Congratulations Little Angel! :)

Er. Its been quite some time since I sat down to write something sincerely. I have been  missing out on that spark to write and go on writing for some time now, and then out of no where comes Shriti asking for a guest post at her blog as a part of her 400th post celebrations, and how could I say no to someone who I care for a lot ? who I love reading a lot ? I had no choice but to accept and promise her to write.

So here I am, trying to put down some lines for shriti, little angel, as I used to call her, and I am confused as to what to pen down. shri, you have been that one person who I witnessed grow up in this place, I have been around when you started writing, and now when you reach this milestone I am still around, and it indeed makes me feel privileged to have known someone so talented like you, who could put into words anything, anything, someone who could just sit and write and then give a visual of what they have written to the readers, someone who can wet the eyes of the reader.

All I have to say is, Shri, that you a gift, a very talented person, one who deserves a lot of happiness, joy, success, fun, everything damn good thing in life, and I would want you to appreciate life, no matter what hardships you have faced, and what may lie ahead. I know its always easier said, that done, but trust me, life is to be appreciated no matter what. like how its said, what doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger. I would be one happy person to see you write more, a lot more of happier posts, making a difference with your life, staying strong and proving a point.

Alright that has gone boring  now, time to wind up, and here is a little something for you sweet heart, you know I normally like melancholy and write on that topic always, but a friend of mine, Nikita of Niki's Pallet wanted to attempt something different, and we sat down together to pen this down, and I guess, this blog is the place where this should be posted :)


Lift your head, shoulders high;
Face the world, and smile in joy;
Tear your mask, shed your fear.
Rebel the world, Pick your voice, 
Gain your words, describe the self.
Burn the worries, make your fuel.
Fly high to the sky, and fear for none.
Earn your respect, earn your space,
Be the one your dreamed to be.
Let the world not hold you back,
For you may fall and you may rise.
Leave the world a sign of yours,
Claim your freedom and be the self.
Be the fire and ignite the rest,
Let the world fall and burn.
Live your life to the full,
Leave a legacy beyond death,
For the new world shall follow you one day.

Here is wishing you Shriti, a happy blogging time and congratulations on reaching this small milestone of 400 posts and I hope and pray that you go on writing more and more, and more.

Love. Hugs. Shravan.

Friday, November 23, 2012

The Charming Lass

Hey Shriti,

This one is for you and a small attempt to let you know that you are a Rockstar. When I first visited your blog I was amazed to see such a young lass writing so much, such a creative background and so many widgets that you have used. I was simply impressed by the complete set up you have and I will always come back to your blog to read more when it gets updated. Here is a short poem for you on your 400 post completion celebration:

A young girl
Though gives words a twirl
Emotions expressed
Everyone impressed

A lovely brew
Flow can keep you glued
A memorable time
Sanctity divine

A way with feelings
A heart out and chimes
That way with rhyme
A bit of clandestine

To tell you more
You have to keep writing, not sour
We love you
Till we reach through the lightening door

I hope you like it and even if not I know you will keep blogging because you are deserving, loving and a beautiful soul which will impart all the love to the world. Keep Writing!

Much Love and Blessings,

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

"..And there she smiled.."

I'm honored to be invited for writing a guest post for one of my sister like blogger. These twisted wires are weird, we once a blue moon get to know people who we cannot meet in real but then it feels good to know them. :) Anyway, here is a piece from the old diary mixed up with fiction. Hope you will enjoy the read.

The dew drops on the grass blades seemed to be gifted by the rain, Sparking as the diamonds are well polished. Zoya had this habit of shedding tears on grass for some odd reason. She believed that this way she could give away her pain to green colored leaves and they'll soak it like sunlight and moreover they are brave enough to carry themselves whatever the season is. She sat there from morning to eve, watched the life passing by.
Aman was observing her from distant.. "may be I should talk to her.." he thought.. "oh, no, it would be bad idea, she might get more upset!" He took out his notebook from his bag and started scribbling.. While leaving, he handed the folded paper to Zoya and said, "I'm sorry, but I guess, it's yours" and left. Before Zoya could say anything, he was gone. She unfolded the paper and began to read and..

Walking through empty streets,
Her heart began to fill with silent screams,
She tried to look back to call upon someone,
"Don't look back" her wisdom suddenly answered.
Her mind started loosing control,
Surrounding by the haunting loneliness,
Her tears were eager to flow,
"No more tears" her faith reminded.
Withered with the thirst and tired,
Not knowing which way to turn,
She paused and closed her eyes,
She remembered her mother's lullaby.
Her growing up,
Her bruised knees and tears she shed,
Mixed with the beautiful times she had.
The world is out there,
She must try to conquer her fear.
Life is like a circle.
She ought to get around it, she thought.
She opened her eyes again,
Feeling empty, lost and drained.
"Move on", gently her inner voice whispered,
The visions blurred and voices faded,
She looked ahead and moved.

..And there she smiled.


~Sunakshi.

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Guest Post Series.

It's been more than 3 years since I started blogging. And yes, I loved it. No, don't worry, I'm not going to be all philosophical and stuff. I am not going to quit blogging either. Actually, I'm really close to my 400th post. 

This is my 393th post. The next 7 posts won't be my me. It'll be posted/written by the fellow bloggers. The ones who have been with me since the beginning. The ones who became my friends, really close friends and long lost siblings! :P 

My exams are coming soon. It'll start on Dec 4th and end on Dec 21st. It's another reason why I'm doing this guest post series. Yes, I'll be busy and stuff. xD And, want these people to keep updating my blog in the meanwhile. 
The people who will be a part of the guest post series are(in no particular order of publishing):
The 400th post will be by Raed. Because he wants to write the 400th post. But these 7 posts can become 8 or 9 or 10 if people want to join. Open invitation etc etc.. :o Just let me know. Btw, I won't be on twitter or tumblr or facebook. But you can comment on here or may be email me. The links are there. Oh and you can write about whatever you want, like a fiction or poem or even about me. Click on the "guest post" tab just in case you're confused or want to check out the other guest posts... There are already a couple of posts.

Friday, November 16, 2012

Edge.

My thoughts never leave me alone.
And nor does my feelings or fears.
It's been a week; 
Somehow survived it without tears.
It's all there, hidden and bottled up.
I'm equally insane as you,
And, I bet that you won't find it true.
My days are getting better,
And, I've started thinking that may be I do matter?
Like someone's praying for me and my fate,
'cause God and me are not friends yet.
I wake up, and plan my day;
But, dang! Procrastination takes it all away.
I almost have no complaints and no regrets.
It's something that I want.
And my greed still needs a lil more.
I am still struggling with my thoughts,
Whether to overlook the vile intentions
Or still maintain the distances?
Forget the people but not the pain,
Or forget the pain but not the people.
Focus on what I need,
Or focus on what I have.
It's more like I'm doing it for everyone else,
But, those people are forgetting to ask how I really am.
I'm sorry, I barely appreciate what you do, 
Or have done for me.
I expect nothing, 'cause I've already given up.
And the only thing I have is this body, that I already detest.
I'm on the edge of ending it all.
I really want to do it so I won't let you know.

Monday, November 12, 2012

I'm still fighting.


Is there anyone listening?
Anyone who's checking if I am still breathing?
Anyone wishing and hoping the best for me?
I'm really trying to keep this smile.
I'm just looking for a number to dial,
Craving for a familiar voice.
A voice that can gulp down all my rants.
I'm  always left with a thought of having it all better and fair.
I'm tryna win over all the dares,
If it still matters,
I want you to know that I'm trying.
And, and, I'm still fighting.

My day has passed,
And I am still awake on this damn cold night,
Waiting for certain feelings to flow down through tears.
But, no, I'm not scared, I don't have fears.
I'm ready for everything and anything you have but,
I'm always left with a thought of having it all better and fair.
I'm tryna win over all the dares,
If it still matters,
I want you to know that I'm trying.
And, and, I'm still fighting.

I need to get this off my chest,
Close my eyes and sleep at least.
I won't regret if I don't wake up next day,
Just take me home, home where you stay.
Don't stand there and watch me cry,
Don't hurt my family, don't lie,
Just change their mind, ask them to let me fly;
'cause you know that 
I'm always left with a thought of having it all better and fair.
I'm tryna win over all the dares,
If it still matters,
I want you to know that I'm trying.
And, and, yes, I'm still fighting.
I'm still fighting.. I'm still fighting.

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Birthday update! o_o

Caution: Long post ahead! 
Wheeeeeee O_O Guess whose day went surprisingly awesome? :o Well, I am gonna post everything about it. I told someone about it, yesterday and I hope he wasn't annoyed. So let's start from the beginning. 
Like I had mentioned, people on twitter were already talking about my birthday and so was I! As the clock striked 12, My mention tab started to flood. Then, I got a phone call. It was from Sunakshi di. I talked to her for the first time. She wished me birthday and we talked a bit. Later, Nida, Abhishek dada, Noreen, Vikas, Ankit, Baburao, Chindi chor, Farji Engineer, Mahan Vyakti(sorry I don't remember their real name o_o) Shravan, and Amey and everyone else on twitter wished me. Amey called me up too. And yes, I talked to him for the first time over the phone! :P Haha, awkward but sweet.
Umm, my inbox and twitter mention both started flooding but my facebook was still dead sadly. I didn't know how my day was going to be or anything. But I felt happy and loved at that moment. I was constantly talking to one person at that time. And I was actually arguing. But we got over it soon. The mentions, the phone calls, whatsapp chat and everything was pleasing. And, of course, it's priceless when you ask someone to do something special and they do it. xD
I fell asleep around 1:40 AM and woke up around 5:30 AM. I checked my phone. I had an unread text from someone. When I saw the number, I knew who it was. It was Marko. Although, I was sleepy, I almost got tears but I felt good.. It was special. He was my best friend once. I couldn't fall asleep after that so I laid there awake. Around 7 am I got up and started to get ready. And at the same time mum woke up and came to my room. I was getting ready. She looked at my dress and she was like "It's 7th right? Your birthday is tomorrow, no?" I was a lil annoyed so I said, "yeah.." Then she checked her phone and calendar and she came running and hugged and apologized and wished me birthday haha. The she rushed towards her room to tell dad about it. After few mins, I heard my dad asking someone to get a chocolate cake with "Happy Birthday Lovely" written on it.
Now, while waiting for the college bus downstairs, I kept getting birthday wishes on my phone. Then when the bus came and as I stepped inside, I heard my college mates saying "HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHRITI" and I smiled and giggled and said "Thank you ^_^" Then one by one my juniors started wishing me, it was sweet. c":
On my way to college, I couldn't help but smile thinking of all the wishes.. :o Then, when I reached college and went to my department building and entered my classroom, one girl was like "Hey look!" And they all looked at me and she complimented me and everyone else smiled. Since none of them were aware of it, we were  studying and discussing about the test! Then Nutan walked in and wished me. Krishna who was standing next to me was like, "DAMMIT SHRITI! YOU SAID IT'S ON 9TH" I giggled.
Others wished me one by one and the girl who had complimented me, hugged me tight. And then, Krishna wished me and was like "Hey, we cannot hug each other but happy birthday!" and shook hands and we both laughed. o_o
During the test. Well we got the questions changed since we had studied the wrong unit 'cause of a misprinting! :P It went okay-ish. Then we had our photo session. I decided to go to chemical stream's class. There, another girl told me that I was looking good in the new dress. So I told her that it's 'cause of my birthday. And everyone else in the class heard that and they started singing the birthday song for me! o_o I giggled again (I know, I giggle a lot) and then we were taken to a lab for making a new video. It was boring and annoying. I even got a lil angry! 
When it was done, we all were heading towards the class and when we reached class, Krishna told me that he was hungry and so were the other guys so I offered him my lunch box. Other guys joined him as well and then one guy was like, "Hey it's her birthday, did you wish her?" I turned around and it was Shubham!!! And I was like "Omg you!" and then he grabbed neck from behind like he always does and then he side hugged me tightly and I was like "AAAH NO STOP!" And then he wished and said, "I was looking for you and I even called you a couple of times! Where's your phone? Ah, forget it! Where's my party?" and a lot of stuffs like that. He wants me to take him to KFC on 10th. I am glad that he hung out with me for a while. I never thought he would. Shubham is the only person who keeps arguing with me. We both love to hate each other. 
Soon when we had to go to the pharmacy building for another photography session, I saw Bhavesh walking towards me. And we both were smiling. He wished me and everyone who was sitting on the staircase stood up and wished me. It was sweet. We didn't have the viva!
When the day was done and everyone else was ready to go home, 3 guys including Krishna asked me to give them a treat so we decided to go to the cafeteria building.. I asked a couple of girls if they wanted to join but they were too tired so they refused. Krishna stopped there and asked as to go ahead and told us that he'd come in a bit. 
On our way to the cafeteria building, I met Nazm and she wished me and apologized for wishing late. I asked her not to worry about it. And then 3 more girls walked towards me, hugged me and wished me birthday and told me that they were arguing about the date.. since I had lied to everyone that my birthday was on 9th :P They even got a lil mad for lying! :o
So, we went to the cafeteria building, ordered food and when we were eating, Krishna came and said, "Stop eating so much fatty or else you'll burst like a balloon!" and it hurt me so I was like, "YOU LOVE TO RUIN MY DAY, DON YOU?" I grabbed my bag pack and left. I saw Nazm with her friends. So I went to her. Her friends wished me birthday as well and we talked. I didn't tell Nazm about what happened a bit ago. 
The two guys got me chocolates and said, "Heh, don't ruin your mood. Eat this and calm down! We are leaving, okay?" I smiled and then I told Nazm that I am not going to share my chocolates and everyone laughed. We waited for Rahul to come. o_o Rahul wasn't aware that it was my birthday so when he came, Nazm told him, and he was like, "Omg, you serious? Shriti?" and I was like, "Hahaha, no, she's lying! xD" and then he said, "I'm sorry! I didn't know that, eh happy birthday!" and I giggled and said "Thanks." Then we all walked to the other side of the road. And then they told Veeru about it. And he wished me and offered me peanuts! Yes PEANUTS!! :P And they kept teasing and making me laugh. 

When they left, I walked towards my bus and as I entered, my brother's friend wished me. I kept getting texts and calls through out the day. I was smiling on my way to home. It was good.  When I got home I got more calls even from my childhood best friend. I had never thought, my day would be that awesome. 
Fb was flooding with notifications too and people who had seen me at college and smiled at me but weren't aware of my birthday wished me and seemed a little mad as well. They were like "Couldn't you tell us?" Even Prince called me and apologized and said the same. So I told him that Shubham was aware of it so he started cursing him 'cause he didn't tell him! Everyone made my day so special. It was the best birthday of my life.

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Happy 19th birthday to ME

Oh hello. Everything okay? o_o I am sorry, I'm not too good with starting a conversation. One hour and 30 minutes till I turn 19 but um, I'm gonna schedule this post. I'm typing it now 'cause I have a test tomorrow. And, I am pretty much sure I'll screw it up. But yeah I need to study and stuff.
I dunno, if I am excited or just annoyed. I know that I feel a little down about it. But you know, just like the tiny kids, I eagerly wait for this day to come. And, yes, I keep reminding people of my birthday. But this time I didn't. I don't see a point. I actually lied to my classmates about my birthday(Note: I said "classmates" not "friends"). Did I mention how much I hate them? Well, I do. Seriously. 
Well, coming back to my birthday. Ah, yeah, this day has never really been good to me. Reasons? Mum and dad end up fighting. I throw a party and no one shows up. Or Diwali vacation becomes the demon to mess everything up. Friends go out of town. Blah blah blah.
I don't know what makes me sad. Growing older or not having friends. Facebook will remind a few old mates about my birthday hopefully. And since I have been tweeting about it, people from twitter remember my birthday(the only good thing). The countdown is on!
My mum and dad have definitely forgotten my birthday it seems. They remembered it till yesterday. Ugh, I feel like crying. My eyes are almost teary. Couldn't have felt more worthless than this. I'm sorry, this post was supposed to be all cheery and stuff but, I dunno. I do not have friends anymore. o_o The person who I thought was my best friend, doesn't even talk to me. But I'm not too bothered anymore. It makes me sad sometimes but that's what life is all about. I have friends/people with whom I talk/text everyday. (Yes, they are my online friends) But I hate it more when they piss me off too, or hurt me or misunderstand me. Well, I dunno what else to say. I just want it to be good. O_O
Hey look! That's me. Smiling. Had taken it on 5th. o_o Ok bye. I need to study. o_O

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Eh, I'm sorry..

There's something about every night.
Or may be you can say that
It's just one thing which turns out the light.
I lay awake in my bed,
Look up at the ceiling;
books, phone screen and laptop;
Think of the words to describe certain feelings.
I am tired and sleepy,
My bloodshot-puffy eyes are just creepy.
I refuse to get some sleep,
Feel empty and unwanted till I start to weep.
Like I've been told,
I seem like shy, quiet, lovable person from the outside,
No one really knows that I hold,
Anger, Loneliness, sadness, fear and self loathing deep inside.
I'm sorry, I am not perfect.
I'm sorry, I am always upset.
I'm sorry, I overreact,
I'm sorry, I think too much before I act.
I'm just really scared, that I'll hated on,
I really think it would've been better if I wasn't born.
I'm sorry, I can't put a smile on your face.
I'm sorry, I know that I'm missing the living grace.
I'm sorry, I push you all away,
I'm sorry, I act like "nothing happened" during the day.

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Manipulation

Don't know what makes me more sad.
Sad is the world or my existence?
Existence have reasons.
Reasons that I can't find.
Find me one soon so that I stay.
Stay, so that I never leave you.
You are the one who can ruin or make my day.
My day that starts with your name, a blurry image of your crescent smile.
Smile that can take down the whole world.
World of lies and hypocrites.
Hypocrites know all their tricks.
Tricks to fool you, use you and finally manipulate you every now and then.


Friday, October 26, 2012

Questions.

Is it anxiety?
Am I anorexic?
Is it true or is it false?
Am I just sad or really depressed?
The questions linger inside my head.
Am I normal?
Am I peculiar?
What is it that really bothers?
Am I really alone or it's just my mind?
Can I see it all or am I being blind?
Is it the stress?
Is it the thoughts?
Is it the future or is it the past?
Is it something that always last?
The questions keep me awake at night.
Too tired to fall asleep and too tired to stay awake.
It's just a messy feeling that keeps hurting.
Why don't they understand?
Why didn't they never stand?
What will it take to be good enough?
Is it a fear?
Am I really scared?
Do you think I am stronger?
Do I really want my life to end?
Or is it just the troubles and pain?
Does things really get better?
Or we just get used to it and it starts bothering lesser?

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Things.

There are things,
You'll never find out.
-My feelings, my thoughts,
Why I keep saying, "I've been through lots.."
There are things,
I'll never care about.
-Your race, your religion,
Your thoughts, your action. 

There are things,
You'll always dare.
-"Forget the pain, live like others,
Overlook the past and leave everything behind that bothers.."
There are things,
That I'll never share.
-My fears, my scariest secrets;
And the one who are the real culprits.

There are things,
You may find annoying.
-My action, my cry,
Me not being cheery, me wanting to die.
There are things,
I may be questioning.
-The society, my existence; My differences
And me not being able to find any resemblance.

There are things,
That you may find hilarious.
-My tears, my thinking,
My words, my writing.
There are things
That I may fake like an actress.
-Hide all the fears on the screen;
Make it all blurry, make it all unseen.

There are things,
You may never notice.
Bottled up feelings, all inside me,
I can barely show you what I see.
There are things,
That make me anxious.
-What they think, what they say,
"I hope it's good", I always pray.

There are things,
You don't find true.
And, most probably it's all about someone;
Don't be so harsh 'cause of an assumption, you'll regret & cry later on their coffin.
There are things,
I really hope I do.
-Not wait for tomorrow, finish it all tonight,
Get away from this fancy world, get away from your sight.

Monday, October 22, 2012

A part of me.


The morning's clear, 
And my mind is trying to figure out where I am,
Stains of tears and late night fear,
has been there on my cheeks all night.

I look at my phone,
To check no one giving a damn,
I turn my head and tell myself that maybe it's good to be alone;
But then the heart realized the lies I just said.

I shake my head while I throw my covers aside,
I sit up on the edge, 
Thinking, "why it has to be this way?" 
Again, as I glide,
My foot on the floor, I think of how different things can be outside the cage.

I make my way to the bathroom,
I look at my stained face,
Adoring how puffy my eyes look because of crying.
It's just me, "another girl without grace"

Secretly hoping for the bus to break down,
As I get ready for my college.
I check myself one last time before leaving my room,
And realize that I look no less than a clown!

I go downstairs, waiting for the bus,
The "honk-honk" kills all the hope,
And I make my way to the bus,
Wishing to get my favorite window seat.

But alas! How come I be so lucky?
It's been occupied again.
I sit quietly next to a girl, 
Shoving in my earphones, putting a song on loop,
I close my eyes and keep it shut till we reach the college.

When I walk towards my building,
I hope not to see people grinning.
I keep my bag pack on the table 
And wait for others to enter.

The classes start one by one in a manner,
I wait for a break desperately to have some fun but in the end
Who am I fooling? 
I hate everyone hence I am the only one who is a loner.

I stand on the balcony and look at all the happy faces,
I come back to the class,
Wait for it to end,
And finally it's all over.

On my way back to home,
I think of all the things I've done,
And secretly miss having pals,
As I close my eyes till I reach home.

The day is done.
And have survived it again.
The thoughts start crawling as the night grows older;
I know that heavy eyes had enough 'cause even the heart is colder!

It's like a depressing movie tape,
That's been stopped, rewind and played since ages,
Doesn't spectators know,
It won't make it any better?

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Reasons

There are reasons, 
Why a person never seems happy. 
There are reasons,
Why some people always wear a smile. 
That one soul who doesn't seem happy anymore, 
Is no one but the person who used to wear a smile all the time.
Heaving smile, makes her feel tired,
And it seems like every endeavor is causing the pain somehow,
That one soul has been strong for a while now, 
And hopes to stay the same,
Till she's done wining the worldly game,
Till she bids her final goodbye.