"When everything is good in your life, every twisted thing happening in someone else's life seems like a drama.."
I am falling apart. I'm going insane. And once again, I'm at the point where it all had begun. I'm not alive if I'm not sharing. If I keep these stuffs only to myself, the chances are that I might give up and I don't want to do that. I don't know where to go.
How would you feel if the person, you used to trust the most gave up on you? Broken? Shattered? Numb? You usually trust your family first. But if your family is mean to you, You go to your friends and share everything with them 'cause you trust them and when that person tells you that he has given up on you and he can't listen to your "tragic tales" it sucks badly.
Insecurities have been crawling me since a very long time. And, I knew that if I kept sharing my insecurities, people would leave me. And that's what happened. It wasn't like I was sharing it with everyone I met. And often, I used to tell people that if I shared, they'd be speechless and everything would be awkward. And we might end up being strangers. And see, I was right. People are leaving me alone.
I literally don't have a single friend. There are people who I care about and who care about me but it's not the same anymore. I am not even interested to be friends with anyone. People disappointed you but it doesn't mean you'd disappoint them. Before I disappoint them it's better to fall apart.
I am not being a sadist. I'm okay. I promise. I did cry on the night when my friend told me that he had given up on me. I was really mad at him. And, I felt like a fool. But, next morning, the pain was gone. When I talk to new people, I try to act rude so that we never get attached and sometimes I just have nothing to say. It doesn't matter to me. So, it's good. Every time, when crap happens, I become more stronger. So, dear troubles, come at me bro. (: