"..What I want, I can't have. What I have, I don't need. What I seek, I can't find. What I found, I can't deal with. What I've dealt with, I never deserved it..."
Why do I get so frustrated? Is it normal? I didn't go to college on Monday. Because, I don't know. There's just no point of doing anything anymore. Everything is so screwed up. I hate those people at my college anyways. I am so sick of everything that's happening around! Of course people want to have a new start of their lives but it doesn't mean that they'll kick out the old ones outta their lives. I know most of the people who'll read this are going to tell me "it's okay", "happens to everyone", blah blah blah. I know dammit! I know. But I don't want it to happen anymore. I really want my happiness to last a little longer. I really do. Why do even start trusting people? Why do I always end up telling them how much they mean to me? And, even when I tell them, why do they take me for granted? Is there any person with who I can share all these feelings? NO.
I know I am ruining myself by thinking about the past and all the crap. And being suicidal or depressed. But, I am sorry. It's just me. You have no idea, what I want, what I am dealing with or what my family is dealing with. I understand their issues. But I want them to understand mine. And if anyone out there's thinking of helping me out then forget it. It's probably too late and pointless. You cannot do anything about it. Stay away from me. You don't have to try to contact me or my family or anyone! YOU WILL JUST MAKE IT WORSE. I'll be fine hopefully.
To the person, who told me that I made my life this way.. if you're reading this then I wanna know what do you even know about me? Although, I have already replied to your comment on that post. So go check it and tell me again that I did it all and it's all my mistake!