Someday the society will change.

They say, 
"Keep it to yourself,

And Hide,

Because what you see, 

And the way you see it,

is a travesty."

They say,
"Seal your lips,

Don't utter a word,

Because every word of yours

Will start a rebellion and that too,

Against you!"

They say,
"Keep faking a smile,

Don't let the frown show up on your face,

Because you're messed up,

You're a different being,

But you've to do everything to fit in."

Your virgin eyes and ears,

Have been through everything they could,

But how much a person can take,

And ignore the remarks they make?

Keep hoping, keeping wishing

Someday your misery will end,

Someday the society will change,

Accept everything that they find evil and strange.
---------------------------

------------------------------

Edge.

My thoughts never leave me alone.

And nor does my feelings or fears.

It's been a week; 

Somehow survived it without tears.

It's all there, hidden and bottled up.

I'm equally insane as you,

And, I bet that you won't find it true.

My days are getting better,

And, I've started thinking that may be I do matter?

Like someone's praying for me and my fate,

'cause God and me are not friends yet.

I wake up, and plan my day;

But, dang! Procrastination takes it all away.

I almost have no complaints and no regrets.

It's something that I want.

And my greed still needs a lil more.

I am still struggling with my thoughts,

Whether to overlook the vile intentions

Or still maintain the distances?

Forget the people but not the pain,

Or forget the pain but not the people.

Focus on what I need,

Or focus on what I have.

It's more like I'm doing it for everyone else,

But, those people are forgetting to ask how I really am.

I'm sorry, I barely appreciate what you do, 

Or have done for me.

I expect nothing, 'cause I've already given up.

And the only thing I have is this body, that I already detest.

I'm on the edge of ending it all.

I really want to do it so I won't let you know.

I'm still fighting.

Is there anyone listening?

Anyone who's checking if I am still breathing?

Anyone wishing and hoping the best for me?

I'm really trying to keep this smile.

I'm just looking for a number to dial,

Craving for a familiar voice.

A voice that can gulp down all my rants.

I'm  always left with a thought of having it all better and fair.

I'm tryna win over all the dares,

If it still matters,

I want you to know that I'm trying.

And, and, I'm still fighting.

My day has passed,

And I am still awake on this damn cold night,

Waiting for certain feelings to flow down through tears.

But, no, I'm not scared, I don't have fears.

I'm ready for everything and anything you have but,

I'm always left with a thought of having it all better and fair.

I'm tryna win over all the dares,

If it still matters,

I want you to know that I'm trying.

And, and, I'm still fighting.

I need to get this off my chest,

Close my eyes and sleep at least.

I won't regret if I don't wake up next day,

Just take me home, home where you stay.

Don't stand there and watch me cry,

Don't hurt my family, don't lie,

Just change their mind, ask them to let me fly;

'cause you know that 

I'm always left with a thought of having it all better and fair.

I'm tryna win over all the dares,

If it still matters,

I want you to know that I'm trying.

And, and, yes, I'm still fighting.

I'm still fighting.. I'm still fighting.

"How can you.."

How can you be fine,

When you know nothing for you,

Falls in line?

How can you smile,

When there are hundreds of people around you,

Planning to steal it in the meanwhile?

How can you say that you are happy,

When you cry yourself to sleep most of the nights,

'cause you cannot fight all the feelings so crappy?

How can you say that you've mates,

When you can't find a company to rejoice, 

Or a shoulder to cry or someone who waits?

How can you not lie to people about not being stressed or depressed,

When you know that people with happy faces,

Are the only ones who are embraced?

How can you not say, "it's okay" or "I'm okay",

When you know that it doesn't matter anymore,

'cause you get used to pain day by day?

How can you not wish for death,

every time the clock hits 11:11,

When you know that everything around you chokes your breath?

"Drowning"

It stops hurting,

When you get used to pain.

You stop feeling,

'cause there is neither loss nor gain.

You forget to smile,

When nightmares are the only thing you remember.

It's been a while,

I feel like my sky is turning grayer.

Too many words,

And so little courage;

I am much more jealous of the birds,

Who aren't inside the cage.

I want to break free,

But this heart is so scared;

I wonder if I'll ever find glee;
'cause it's been a while since someone has really cared.

It's like I'm drowning in my own emotions,

And just fading away from people.

Call it stress, drama or depression,

But, I know that things are just going to be more awful.

"Wishes"

It's like you throw a wish in the well,

And, hope that you'll be able to come outta the shell.

But the wishes inside the well aren't few,

When everyone else's wishes are still due.

"There are millions of people wishing for a brighter tomorrow. They are all needy just like you and only certain people are lucky whose wishes come true.."

"..wishing for this life to end.."

Another day has passed.

And now it's in the past.

Another tear will glitter with a hope.

Pills, razor, poison or rope?

Every option,

Takes you to your destination.

He is still perplexed to see you sad.

Wondering "what's going on inside your head?"

You cry and he's speechless.

He doesn't understand why do you think that you are a mess?

She died and they left you.

You cried and someone groped you.

That night you lost your smile and even your voice.

Only Lord knows that it wasn't your choice.

When you used words to reveal the truth.

One thousand souls laughed at you; called you "a crazy little youth"

They will never know.

They will never understand.

They can never see that you're wishing for your life's end.

Story.

Listen to the silence.

They tell a story.

Story about you.

And, the people who left you.

Memories that haunt you.

In dark, cold-misty nights.

Nostalgia wraps its arms around you.

Sometimes comforting, sometimes suffocating.

You cry, you sigh.

You twist, you turn.
You smile, You laugh.
Then you remember,
There is a demon masked as an angel.
The one who groped your virgin skin,
Whose vile intentions,
Keeps killing you almost every night.

Reach for a razor, stick it to your skin.

Paint a new picture and

write the end of your story, your life.

P.S. That's not my hand.

Happy 18th Birthday to me (:

Haha, so, it's my 18th birthday..and it's going amazing so far :) I had a really good time at college. I haven't even thought that it would be so great :) I love my best friend. Hehe. He has given me the best birthday present o: And, this guy from my class, he bought me a present :P

I love my friends, family and everyone who has made it so special ^_^

"..I don't know for how long I can stand this.."

Drifting with winds,

Crying, singing, dreaming and living.

No complains but loads of pain,

Inside a naive little heart. 

Slit wrist is nothing but the proof,

How he kept assassinating me,

and how I kept denying it. 

P.S. See, I had told you. I can't stay happy. Bye bye Happiness. I miss you. 

"..A new fairytale is about to begin.."

Lost and broken, I was.

On that horrible and suffocating night,

I had decided to end up all my aches and worthless fight.

Sinking in tears, wishing to die.

Craving for a shoulder and a hug to feel home and cry. 

 I had met him before but I didn't know,

I had already sown seeds of love in his heart to grow.

He did care but I didn't notice.

While talking to him, I actually found peace.

Tears stopped and slowly the pain was going.

I fell asleep with neither bitterness nor cursing.

Next morning, I was in solace.

No more tears, no more aches.

We both were giggling and smiling like two little kids.

No one was being fake or hypocrite.

Innocence and love started growing more,

Neither of our hearts were sore.

He was knowing that I was falling for him.

I wasn't scared anymore to say, "I love you Tim"

Keeping my feelings only to me.
Denied everything that he wanted me to see.
At the end, I lost and love won.
We both were together before the dawn.
He chose me over everyone,
Despite the distance, he feels that I am the only one.
He is a prince and I am one amongst the ordinary girls,
He is so perfect that every pretty face twirls.
I have only loved and it's not a sin,
'cause no matter what you say but a new fairytale is about to begin.

P.S. Hello readers, yeah I am still alive :P Thanks for caring everyone, I am really fine. Your 17 years old poetess is no more a little kid. She has started going to college and she is loving it there. About the poem? Um, It's not sad :P You wanted a happy poem so here it is! Exactly how I feel so now you know that I am good and of course happy. :) 

Understanding

When you try to understand me,

 with the eyes of your experience,

 The only thing you'll have is,

Misunderstanding.

For we both have different paths and fears,

 The things that bring you smile,

just might hurt me and bring tears.

 But if you try to accept,

 the weird things of mine,

 May be you'll gain,

Understanding.

-Shriti