nice usage of words in this poem. Just one change you could make is 'ruined heart never cries' or ruined heart doesnt cry' - cos a lil grammer mistake in there.. But you are writing better day after day..thats great!
Thankyou for the award, its my first one, made me very happy!
Wish you a very happy 2010 in advance, where you pass all your exams in flying colours! cya
Hey there, A quick suggestion: Fear grew in dark - this line is sort of weakening the punch. I see that the poem is of a battered and bleeding heart. Such a heart has already faced the fear and there can be no more fear.
Just my take. Other than that I found the lines very strong and brings out the feelings of a broken heart very nicely. Truly touching.
Your poems describe my life as well.Its nice to know im not alone on feeling this way but i think death is the cure for it!My advice is fallow my footsteps and kill yo self
Betrayed soul smiles ,
11 comments:
"life's gona be the same..."
good one...
oki i have a plan..i will send you one of my pics..can you write a poen on that too??
pleeassee
oh wow that was sooo short yet so meaningful...........
wow you could write poems on anything....
lucky!
short n dark this one was...
good..i liked :)
nice usage of words in this poem. Just one change you could make is 'ruined heart never cries' or ruined heart doesnt cry' - cos a lil grammer mistake in there..
But you are writing better day after day..thats great!
Thankyou for the award, its my first one, made me very happy!
Wish you a very happy 2010 in advance, where you pass all your exams in flying colours! cya
what is wrong with ya sweets?why sad note?apart from that,really good xD o.O
@ Sankoobaba
thank you! ^_^
@ Sulagna di
Never tried? but still i would
@ Tristarfvestar
thanks but Can I? O_o
@ Mads
thankies! ^_^
@ Vidya
Thank you :)
and welcome and same to u LOL :P
@ Ayu
hmm.. I am worried too!
I don't know why do I write such poems!
@ Sunakshi di
Nothing happened :)
I am fine :D
Hey there,
A quick suggestion: Fear grew in dark - this line is sort of weakening the punch. I see that the poem is of a battered and bleeding heart. Such a heart has already faced the fear and there can be no more fear.
Just my take. Other than that I found the lines very strong and brings out the feelings of a broken heart very nicely. Truly touching.
@ Vittaldas
Thanks!
Your poems describe my life as well.Its nice to know im not alone on feeling this way but i think death is the cure for it!My advice is fallow my footsteps and kill yo self
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