Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Out burst!

Why? Why are you doing this to me? It really hurts. I have always supported you. Even when you were in trouble I was with you. You were not having your notes during the exams. I gave you my notes and appeared the exams without any notes. At the time of completing the project, I helped you. I was right you are selfish. You just think for yourself and no one else.
I invited you on my sixteenth birthday knowingly that you will not come. My friends taunted me. They said you are a useless, selfish guy. That thing ruined my mood but then you called me to wish me birthday. I was happy. I thought may be they are wrong on the other hand I was angry on friends coz no one, told me about you earlier.
I was still behaving normally with you as if nothing had happened. Knowingly that you are using me an still I helped you. Everyone else's say blah blah things about me and you. but I don't care. They ask me why do you behave nicely to me? why don't you shout at me? I don't know what to reply to their questions? Neither can I ask you! I feel good when you are with me. when you pull my leg. when you make me smile and when you ask me for notes.
We sit together in tutions and you fight with others to sit beside me and sometimes  you copy my answers during the tests. You took me for the wild car ride and still you pull my leg for that. But then is it for the other gals. Just because you want to make others jealous. You keep telling blah blah gals that "I took her for drive." "We both went for a drive."  then I say "just shut up, we were not alone, the others guys were also with us." And then you say "yeah! we all friends/tution mates/boys were together"
Why do you say this? Are you trying to make others jealous? Or something else? Do you really care? Or you pretend?  you always listen to all my whispering. You notice all the small things about me and the things i do. What's that then?
All the time you flirt with blah and blah gals and say the same thing to make them jealous. Now, when we are not having tutions and you don't need any help, you don't talk to me. When me and my best friend are standing with you. You just talk to her and never say a word to me. When we both look at each other, you don't smile, you don't ignore and don't give any other expression. When ever I cried in class, you have always been the first to come to me and wipe up my tears and make me smile.
You just stay with that blah blah blah and blah gals. They are all chaloo types who can fall for anyone. You used to sit with these blah blah gals under the tree and chat for hours during your dance practice. I felt really bad. But then when I was ill and was sleeping in this class you came back from there for me. Tell me what was that?
And do you know the gal with whom you flirt in front of me in the class said blah blah to me about you on my birthday. She is a attention seeker nothing else. And now she is flirting with you. Today you were holding her hand.. no... you do it everyday.!! When ever I see both of you together, I feel like crying. It really hurts me. I can't say this to you or anyone.
At times, you are so friendly, so nice and so sweet to me but sometimes, you pretend as if you don't know me. Even when I shout at you, you never say a single thing to me.
But why? Why 'am feeling these things?

13 comments:

karan a said...

This is another colour of life... May be he isnt worth for you... ;)

Emotional strings when pulled, make such sounds...

ambiguous_angel said...

oh.that's bad..
guys are really unpredictable,
one day they're good, tomorrow they're evil.

dont worry, you'll get over it.
cheer up:)

myunrevealedthoughts said...

Obviously, you are falling in love with the guy. Sadly, I guess the feeling ain't mutual.

Sankoobaba said...

guys tend to come in different flavors..but sometimes certain flavors taste good..but end up leaving a bad aftertaste..

dont worry... things will soon turn better...

Madhu said...

are u in love?

An Ordinary Gal said...

hey gal it is all the part of Life...never be weak and don't give chance to others to hurt you..Everything will be fine soon :)

Sjmach said...

What is he up to?

sulagna ™ said...

wow karan made a nice statement,emotional strings when pulled...


its oki sweetheart, you dont need to shed tears for people who dont care

♫♪♥W!nK♥♪♫ said...

Hey Sweetheart.
Just relax. Okay. And S-M-I-L-E! I agree with Karan. Maybe he does not deserve you!
I've been through something like this and so I know it's gonna be hard...but you have to move on and realize that he's not the only one. There are many more who care! Just be strong. Trust me, it'll pass.
If you wanna talk about all of this, feel free to buzz me :)
Take Care!!
*HugZz*

Chocolate Lover said...

@ Karan
Thank you! :)

@ Angel
Thank you! :)

@ Minnie runner
Really?
Is it love? O_o

@ Sankoo baba
Sigh!

@ Madhu
I don't know! Is it love?

@ Riya
thank you! :)

@ Sandeep
I don't know
sigh!!!

@ Sulagna di
Thankiyu!! :))

@ Juhi
thank you dear.
that's really sweet of you! :))

Selenium said...

...

Teenage is a tough time emotionally... you don't know what you're feeling. And by the time you realize, it might already be too late (or like in most cases... it doesn't matter... -__- )

P.S. Yes... a very late comment :-|

Chocolate Lover said...

@ Selenium
true! -__-
I really don't know what 'am feeling and why 'am feeling :|

Vittaldas Prabhu said...

Sometimes it helps to sit alone gazing the starry sky in the night for hours together and letting your mind meander. All sorts of bad thoughts come, sometimes they make you feel dreadful and it can go on for few minutes, one hour or hours. At the end, when the mind has returned back into the body, you will feel fresh, rejuvenated and at peace with yourself. Try it out once.