Friday, October 29, 2010


"..Being lonely and quiet,
Keeping all secrets to myself.
My eyes tear 'cause
my heart cries,
and hope

I am sowwie :( for being so annoying. I know that everyone's life is messed up but for me, only my life is REALLY messed up. Yeah my life sucks and is messed up and I want to clean that mess :/
I don't know if I should regret or not. I don't know what's good and what's bad. But at this moment I just hate them and yeah I am regreting for trusting them and believing that they care and they'll be with me no matter what happens!!
But, they don't care, not a single bit. Aaahh how can they talk to me like that? God I HATE you. I really hate you. why is it always necessary for you to make my life a mess? And I don't believe in stupid quotes and theories whatever that says, "God wants to test me!" and blah blah. Even if he is doing so then I don't wanna pass such test :/
Why is it happening before 10 days of my birthday!? -.-" They all (some actually) are going out of town! and won't come back till 8th November!! (T_T)


Sumit Sarkar said...

Life is always a mess...
Accept them as challenge and overcome them...

Selenium said...

Mind if I push in a little recommendation??

Listen to this song -> Laid to Rest, by Lamb of God. (

At first you might not think that is music... but the lyrics, and the way the song is sung... it suits your emotions perfectly. It suits so perfectly that listening to it right now just give me a slight shiver...

Like this line from it... -> "I'll make all your dreams come to life, and slay them as quickly as they came."

beanizer_05 said...

alright,,so you're now a bitter choco not a sweet one??

anyway, what you're feeling is all but NORMAL. I have been in that state when everything seemed to mess up and i was thinking I AM ALL ALONE in this world experiencing pains. But here's the thing, if they say "God is testing you.." and you don't believe it..then let me just say "God knows you can handle it, so HE gave it". DON'T take it as a test, but a TASK..PAIN is a REQUIREMENT for you to live the rules of life on this temporary planet.

Be grateful it happens on the days BEFORE your birthday..NOT ON YOUR BDAY. Who knows something great is awaiting on your special day?

If you can't change a thing, change the way you think about it.

Problem is common but attitude makes a difference.

p/s: i seldom comment, hope you can bear with this long one..hehe!

beanizer_05 said...

this link is NOT JUST intended for this sad post, but everytime you FEEL LIKE QUESTIONING YOUR EXISTENCE..

i'm not pushing, just trying to help (if you think you need it)

♥ Chocolate lover ♥ said...

@ Sumit
yeah it is!

♥ Chocolate lover ♥ said...

@ Selenium
I didnt like the song :P it made me more angry and gave me a headache xP

♥ Chocolate lover ♥ said...

@ Beanizer..

O_O yeah thats a huge one!!
ummm okay as u say! :o