Caution: big post ahead. but plz read it. I'll be happy :)
I feel like dying after fighting with my younger bro. I feel so alone even when my friends are around. I am completely screwed up. I pretend to be happy but I seriously don't know whether I am or not. I do have friends who love me and who care but sometimes I feel they don't and they just pretend.
Meeting new people really freaks me out. I am really really scared of meeting new people. I can't speak my heart and if I try people misunderstand me. I can't share my feelings with anyone. I can't tell my friends what they mean to me and I really need them.
I've never went alone anywhere without my family and friends. I am 16 and I don't even know many places of my home town. When I go to buy anything I don't know how to bargain *sigh. I just can't see anyone in pain but there are lots of hypocrites around. Sometimes handicap people asks for help(money) for their surgeries and all and I do help them but then my friends/parents asks me not to do it gain cause they are hypocrites.
I am not talkative. When I try to say anything, no one listens. If you'll come to me and try to start any convo., I may not seem cheerfull and you may think that I am not interested but seriously that's not the truth at all. The only thing is "I am not talkative" and for that I really wanna say that I am sorry :(
I really don't know what's good and what's wrong for me. I took maths in 11th cause my friend's wanted me to choose maths but I took it because my friends were supposed to take it . But at last no one took that. T.T In most of the things I depend on my friends.
I hate socializing sites but I don't know what the hell am I doing there. People just say crap, spam and do blah blah blah. I've never abused anyone and I seriously don't know how to.! I am moody and i am never in a good mood. I feel so alone and hurt. Don't know why?! Sometimes I really really feel to end my life. I personally feel that Harpreet, my best friend's death has added more bitterness in my life.
I can't say this stuffs to anyone accept to my blog and to you guys there.
I am still pretending to be an idol friend of my friends and an idol daughter of my parents. I am living for them but then I really want to see my friends crying for me on my death! :D
Who am I?
I am chocolate lover. XD
P.S. I know its a long post. sorry! and thank you so much for bearing it.
PPS. blaaaaaah!! I don't know why the hell I wrote this!! >.<