"..forbidden love.."

My eyes sinking in tears,

The feeling of coziness and no fears,

Yes I do cry but

Really I don't know why?

Your smile is bliss.

Your care is love.

that luminous expression

and warm admiration..

from that shooting star,

I just wish..

to fall in illusion where,

it's just you and me

forever..

Embracing me in you,

Why's this feeling so deep and new?

My woes are healed..

when you are with me

Listen to those faint echoes,

the delicacy of my heart,

and decent lies in my eyes

accept you no one knows..

Hiding all your fears and tears,

You are always there by my side..

I can't make you smile,

I can't share your pains,

How to tell you that

How much I love and how much I care..

Just a...!

sorry I am gonna write a crap here. x( My head really hurts. I am not sleepy since many days and I am exhausted now. I wanna talk to someone but hell everyone is busy! Now I am almost on all the social sites like Twitter, Myyearbook, Plurk, Myspace and face book. And I hate this!

Fb really shucks!! and the quizes in it too. It says that I am gonna die soon at the age of 16. And I am 16 now!! (Are those quizes real?) Must be not :p but I am asking this 'cause even I feel sometimes that I am gonna die soon. One more thing ARE you guys on Fb AND CAN I ADD YOU PLZ? I don't know anyone except you guys!

argh..this headache is really killing me :( I feel sho scared and I am missing my friends and I don't know why suddenly I'm missing all my friends and school (it's my vaccation) My school would soon get over just one year is left. What would I do then? What about my friends? :( I don't want to leave my friends and today Kamesh send me a txt which makes me feel terrible.

I'm missing Harpreet :(( All those flash backs when we played pranks, When we all had fun in Maths tutions, Fights and drams and everything, Why can't I have my friend back? Why did she die? Why the hell she made that wish?

Why is everyone sho mean? They say that they care but do they really? Why does everyone lies? :( I want to cry. Why I am unable to share my feelings with my friends? And when I write such stuffs do I annoy you?

I am so tired!! And I am unable to blog walk though I am trying to reach your blog..I've become so forgetfull. I am reading  the blogs but then I just forget to leave a comment. -.-"

..I am not happy!..

My eyes spoke the truth,

but they never understood...

I feel so alone,

I feel so lame,

I wish you were here

and this was just a game.

Oh..my fairytale..

why ain't you made it just so well?

I fake a smile and decieve them,

Yes I'm not happy that's what I wanna tell them!

P.S. sorry I don't know what the hell I wrote?

PPS. Right now I'm so angry at someone >.<
PPPS. don't worry I'll be fine!! :)

..My sketches..

Hey..haha! this time I here...with something new xD These are my sketches that I made..

This one was..My first sketch..that I made..

Hmmmm.. I am not good at this..I guess..

and now.. the worst one.. T.T

This is good :)

It's a bit weird ..sorry..!

No.. actually this one was the first one..

Hmmm..need to change something in it..

One of my favourite =]

When I started this blog I thought that it would be only for sketches and drawing and paintings.. but it turned to be a blog about my life :)

I lack all the skills of a good artist.. I know.. but :S

Sorry.. don't have the scanner now.. so I clicked it through my Cell.. and that's why the quality sucks!!  >.<

And I know what are you guys thinking.."Why so sad?" right?

"..Something..." x)

Haha! Guess what..? I am so happy today xD and I wanna go wheeee.... lol

haha! I told you guys I'll be fine... I am just moody and sensitive and nothing else.! At times I do feel sad and then I write blog posts and through that I can express my feelings and thoughts  x))

And I would say it again that I hate social sites xP It makes me sick x(  But Myyearbook is now not that bad like it was earlier xD  Haha! met two nice people there and Both are just like me but one is talkative(always tries to make me smile) :P and the other one isn't(we just make smileys and hugs when we chat)  xD

Haha! thank God they are not like others 'cause everyone flirts there and asks creepy stuffs!!  (ewww...) x( I try to avoid and escape from such creepy creatures xD

Hehehe! last night I slept at 3:30 am xP and Mom caught me xP I am feeling a bit sleepy today :P and hungry! (Haven't taken anything since morning :P) I've got a little headache but its okay x)

Now something for you Guys.. I want to thank you.. you guys are really sweet and I love you x) Thanx for caring so much(talking about the comments on my previous post) xD 

 Don't worry I won't kill myself xP I am scared of blood so I am not going to cut my veins or anything :P I am scared of height and I am hydrophobic so not going to jump from the building or anything neither I'll go close to water :P and Poison.. who's going to buy me that..! I am too lazy to go and buy and what if  it smelled awfull :P and now about drugs, smoking and... and..drinking naahh.. I don't do that..!! :D

haha! okay..so that's all..

"..I'll disappear.."

Someday I'll disappear

leaving no traces behind..

But may be some tears,

some enchanting memories

and my absence in their life..

Let me cherish

these moments now

'cause may be tomorrow

I would be dead..

hehe...!

I want to cry but I can't

'cause you make me smile

and  dance..

Stupid thought

Does it matter to anyone?

If I cry or If I die?

P.S. Yes I am sad T.T

Me and her soul..

I dont trust anyone anymore.

I wish If I was dead

Instead of my comrade;

Few enchanting memories;

And my glittering eyes.

My tears now can

say no lies.

Melting eve in silence;

Alone in togetherness,

Or together in lonliness?

Me and her soul;

Something unspoken ,

heard my heart so broken.

Regrets and guilts,

appologies and confessions,

I wish if these could be done,

I would see no nightmares

in my sleep..

P.S. wrote for harpreet T.T

P.P.S I guess m facing writer's block or something X(

...my identity

Who I am?

Why I am?

I wear a fake smile,

I wear a broken heart;

My life belongs to them.
And my tears,
My tears belongs to me.
My dreams are shattered.
My dead soul weeps,
Broken heart decieves,
I can't fall asleep 'cause,
Sweet silence still screams;
Have I lost my identity?
Or I never had any?

...from my heart!

Caution: big post ahead. but plz read it. I'll be happy :)

I feel like dying after fighting with my younger bro. I feel so alone even when my friends are around. I am completely screwed up. I pretend to be happy but I seriously don't know whether I am or not. I do have friends who love me and who care but sometimes I feel they don't and they just pretend.

Meeting new people really freaks me out. I am really really scared of meeting new people. I can't speak my heart and if I try people misunderstand me. I can't share my feelings with anyone. I can't tell my friends what they mean to me and I really need them.

I've never went alone anywhere without my family and friends. I am 16 and I don't even know many places of my home town. When I go to buy anything I don't know how to bargain *sigh. I just can't see anyone in pain but there are lots of hypocrites around. Sometimes handicap people asks for help(money) for their surgeries and all and I do help them but then my friends/parents asks me not to do it gain cause they are hypocrites.

I am not talkative. When I try to say anything, no one listens. If you'll come to me and try to start any convo., I may not seem cheerfull and you may think that I am not interested but seriously that's not the truth at all. The only thing is "I am not talkative" and for that I really wanna say that I am sorry :(

I really don't know what's good and what's wrong for me. I took maths in 11th cause my friend's wanted me to choose maths but I took it because my friends were supposed to take it . But at last no one took that. T.T In most of the things I depend on my friends.

I hate socializing sites but I don't know what the hell am I doing there. People just say crap, spam and do blah blah blah. I've never abused anyone and I seriously don't know how to.! I am moody and i am never in a good mood. I feel so alone and hurt. Don't know why?! Sometimes I really really feel to end my life. I personally feel that Harpreet, my best friend's death has added more bitterness in my life.

I can't say this stuffs to anyone accept to my blog and to you guys there.

I am still pretending to be an idol friend of my friends and an idol daughter of my parents. I am living for them but then I really want to see my friends crying for me on my death! :D

Who am I?

I am chocolate lover. XD

P.S. I know its a long post. sorry! and thank you so much for bearing it.

PPS. blaaaaaah!! I don't know why the hell I wrote this!! >.<

PPPS. I am almost back so don't go anywhere! XD