I scream and yell at people when I am angry or upset. And when I cannot scream or yell, I start crying, like right now.. I expect a lot from the people I trust. I expect them to at least understand me when no one else does.
I am the kind of person who can find a thousand reason to kill oneself but can't find a single one to live. I easily feel sad and miserable. Sometimes, I don't want to feel that way so I try seeking help but when I do want to feel the pain, I ruin myself in every possible way. Actually, the pain.. the thoughts, they never stop and it's too much to handle.
When people ask what's wrong, I don't know where to start from. I am sick and tired of mentioning about it though. I stopped explaining things. Because, it doesn't matter to anyone. And then there are people really close to your heart, hurting you. Making it more harder to breathe, drift from the thoughts and fall asleep.
I just know one thing that I don't deserve to be treated like crap. I never said I would be easy. You've no right to treat me like that.