"I am a wreck.." (Blog's 2nd anniversay)

I'm a wreck,

I need to sleep,

I've been broken,

I really need to be fixed.

Been alone, 

for far too long,

Been assassinated,

for someone's malevolent.

Joy fades away,

and sorrow grabs my hand,

I'm being ripped in a tug of war,

That never seems to end.

I'm chasing nothing

But running for everything,

I need to escape this place,

I really need to find myself solace.

P.S. Hello readers, I'm sorry for not writing more often..and still not being able to read your blogs. I'm not happy but then I'm not sad either. Oh, btw, it's been 2 years in blogspot.. Yup, I've successfully completed 2 years in blogspot and gained 183 amazing followers.. Thanks for reading me and encouraging me to write more through your mails. I was 15(almost 16) when I had started this blog and now, I'm 17(almost 18).. Haha, sometimes it makes me sad that I'll be no more a little kiddo.. Thanks for telling me not to lose hope and that everything will be alright, Thanks for all your love. I truly love you each one of you.

"..She doesn't cry.."

She forgot to rhyme,

And learned to smile,

She doesn't cry nor does she die. 

The words denied to dance on her tune,

'cause she has found something brighter than the moon. 

"..sing me the lullaby"

My past crawling my present,

My present healing my future.

I have promises to keep,

And a thousand miles to go before I sleep.

Sing me the lullaby,

The lullaby that my mother used to sing.

It gives me peace,

And It'll let me fall asleep with an ease.

Fascinating deep brown eyes,

Eyes that had never learnt to speak lies.

Escaping all the truths,

Going to chase every kind of silence that soothes.

"..Perfect Rhyme.."

 

Joy tries to illuminate the sad reality in me,

There's something that no one else can see,

A glimpse of something sweeter than bitter truth;

Thousand souls are closer but not my ruth. 

Trying to write a new story this time,

It's not necessary to have the perfect rhyme. 

P.S. Hello readers, I am still alive. I am justt too busy with my college and stuffs. I am not feeling awesome but I am okay. Sorry, for not reading your blogs. :/ I hope whoever reads this, understands me. 

"..Dysphoria.."

Emptiness choking my breath,

Making me to lean towards death,

Couldn't see anything except the color black,

Always wishing for someone to come back,

Lost in fairy tale which I thought was true,

It's may be pleasing to see the shades of blue.

Was a fool to feel beautiful,

Sanity warned but insanity overruled,

Trust is gone, soul is dead,

I feel no pain even when my cuts bleed.

Being tired of heartaches, I may choose euthanasia,

It's getting hard to have dysphoria. 

"..I don't know for how long I can stand this.."

Drifting with winds,

Crying, singing, dreaming and living.

No complains but loads of pain,

Inside a naive little heart. 

Slit wrist is nothing but the proof,

How he kept assassinating me,

and how I kept denying it. 

P.S. See, I had told you. I can't stay happy. Bye bye Happiness. I miss you. 

"..A new fairytale is about to begin.."

Lost and broken, I was.

On that horrible and suffocating night,

I had decided to end up all my aches and worthless fight.

Sinking in tears, wishing to die.

Craving for a shoulder and a hug to feel home and cry. 

 I had met him before but I didn't know,

I had already sown seeds of love in his heart to grow.

He did care but I didn't notice.

While talking to him, I actually found peace.

Tears stopped and slowly the pain was going.

I fell asleep with neither bitterness nor cursing.

Next morning, I was in solace.

No more tears, no more aches.

We both were giggling and smiling like two little kids.

No one was being fake or hypocrite.

Innocence and love started growing more,

Neither of our hearts were sore.

He was knowing that I was falling for him.

I wasn't scared anymore to say, "I love you Tim"

Keeping my feelings only to me.
Denied everything that he wanted me to see.
At the end, I lost and love won.
We both were together before the dawn.
He chose me over everyone,
Despite the distance, he feels that I am the only one.
He is a prince and I am one amongst the ordinary girls,
He is so perfect that every pretty face twirls.
I have only loved and it's not a sin,
'cause no matter what you say but a new fairytale is about to begin.

P.S. Hello readers, yeah I am still alive :P Thanks for caring everyone, I am really fine. Your 17 years old poetess is no more a little kid. She has started going to college and she is loving it there. About the poem? Um, It's not sad :P You wanted a happy poem so here it is! Exactly how I feel so now you know that I am good and of course happy. :) 

"I am truly a curse..." It won't really matter to me If you don't read the poem, it doesn't really make any sense I guess. I did a mistake and I should die instead of him. If anything happened to him then I wouldn't forgive myself.

One scary night, 

beneath the moon light,

I never wanted you to cry,

Nor to say good bye,

It was my grave mistake,

Your life was on stake,

It was a hex put on my words,

Didn't want a life of wizards.

I am truly a curse

I make things go worse.

This is the tuth,

You were my Ruth.

I am sorry, please come back once,

please come back and give me another chance.

P.S. Sometimes, you become so blind and selfish that you wish for stupid things like someone to leave. But don't do that because God can misunderstand you and He can take that person away forever from you and everyone. The person not only leaves you but he also has to leave the world.

Do me a favor and please pray for my friend? It was all my fault. I wanted him to go but not this way. It took me so long to understand that he was nice and sweet. If anything happened to him then I wouldn't forgive myself. It really sucks when you lose someone. He has to go through 2 surgeries. And there's 1/4th chances of him to die!