Friday, August 3, 2012

Love Marriage or Arranged Marriage?

Love is one of the greatest feelings. Or may be it is the greatest feeling. Everyone has their own definition of love. I have my own definition too. Love can be good, Love can be bad. Love can give you solace, Love can give you pain. Love can also make you want to kill yourself but then that's called quitting. Love is not a quitter. Love is stronger. Love is fighting reality. Love is you fighting for everything.

It is love when you get attached to someone. You cannot deny that fact. And, to make that attachment stronger, you get married. Getting married is probably one of the biggest things that happens to a person. Well, then why are we not allowed to take our own decision? Why are people in our society so stuck up?

In India, when two people get married, it's like "they also get married to each other's family"  But the question is why do our family don't let us to marry our own choices? Getting married to someone you already know from a while or a long while is always better than to marry a complete stranger. A stranger who is a stranger even to our parents.

Our parents have given birth to us. But does it mean we owe them all our life's decisions? I know that every parent only wants the good to happen to their son or daughter. But sometimes, parents don't understand us. All our lives, we do what our parents want us to do so why can't we take at least one decision on our own? If parents really think and know that they have brought up their kids nicely and their kids can never do anything wrong then why do they doubt our choices?

There are too many good things about love marriage. Like, people actually become responsible. And, if anything goes wrong in their married life, they at least wouldn't blame or hate their parents for the rest of their lives. And, we cannot forget that it diminishes the caste or religious differences. Then why is love marriage considered a crime? Love is not illegal. Why do our society kill the lovers who are in a way uniting the fragmented society.

My cousin brother married the love of his life. And so did my cousin sister. And their life's going pretty great. Though, my cousin sister's family had to go through a few embarrassing moments but actually they were not really embarrassing, it was just the society who were gossiping and laughing. 

I remember my Uncle's sad face. I also remember, "my parents" and other relatives laughing at them. A few relatives didn't even come to attend the wedding. My uncle and his family used to laugh at others because of this love marriage thing and today the society is laughing at them. Today it's them, tomorrow it can be you.

The society is just messed up. If two people are happy with each other then what's wrong with it? Why is love marriage considered as ruining your own family status? What if tomorrow your son or daughter tells you that they love someone and they want to marry them? Kill them, hit them, or make them marry your choice? You'll only lose them forever. 

If you make them marry your choice then there's no surety that they'll be happy in their marriage life. No one will be happy. Not your son/daughter or their love or your in-laws. And in case of girls, how will you know if your daughter is safe with the family you have chosen? 

To those whose parents had an arranged marriage, you know it was hard for them. You must have seen that in your own house. Domestic violence. What do you think is the most common reason behind it? The differences. I know things get better and to most of the people it did get better. But you just can't ignore the past.

I know, love marriage often fails and the reason is of course less understanding. And sometimes the reasons are in-laws too. In most cases, they are in-laws. Sometimes the girls do face some problem in adjusting with their new family. 

It can be fixed, you know? Like before getting married, family members can spend some time(like a couple of weeks or months) with their son/daughter's love. Just see how do they treat you and everyone else in the family. Let your son/daughter see or understand the lifestyle. 

Just because society is going to insult you or laugh at you, it doesn't mean you'll ruin your child's happiness. At the end of the day, marriage should be important. Doesn't matter if it's arranged or love. But I would still favor love marriage.

I wonder how would my parents react if I fell in love with someone and we both wanted to marry each other. Mum keeps telling me that if I did anything like what my cousins had already done, it'd kill my dad. On the other hand, mum has also told me how my dad keeps dreaming about my brother's marriage and how he won't mind if he decides to marry his own love/choice. Then why such restrictions for me? I hope they change their thoughts. There's nothing bad about love.

P.S. This is my post for the "Love Marriage ya Arranged Marriage" contest organised by Sony Entertainment Television and Indiblogger. 


Confused Soul said...

Oiii that was a really nice post and I like your blog.. Nice :D

All the best..Votes you up :D

Abhishek said...

Nice post :D

Abhishek said...

Nice one :D

muthu said...

Good one... :)

Nevin said...

loved the blog. and the post. I must admit its very girly though. the music and the pink ;)

Jack said...

C L,

Visiting after a gap. Marriage, arranged or love, is not just union of two individuals but bringing together of two families also. You may know someone for a long time but it is only when you live 7 X 24 that you come to know the person really. I am fully with you that those who are involved must have their say for this most important issue as it is they who have to live together and not their parents or siblings. Girls do have a lot of difficulty as they have to move out of their comfort zone to an unknown place, even in love marriage. Not only they but everyone, husband or his parents and all, must ensure that she settles down without any hitch. And to quote two of bloggers here - Success of marriage does not depend upon finding right partner but on being one. Second is, Marriage is like a flowerbed which needs to be tended every day. Best of luck to you when time comes.

Take care

Maun Vision said...

very neat views. very well penned. best wishes.