"You never lost and I never won.."

Things which belong to me are-
Tears, wounds, bruises and scars.
Hatred and Betrayal kisses my heart,
Like a razor blade it tears me apart.

".Let me breathe, let me live, let me love..."

I am bound in your fake world,

I have been dying,

Keeping secrets and been lying,

Trying to keep my head clear,

Haunted by you and your fear.

Death is fascinating,

I couldn't bear your hating.

I may paint a picture,

This time, I'll see no failure,

I know, I ain't flawless,

My wrist is my canvas,

And razor is my new brush,

I'll wait for no one, I am in real rush.

"..curse.."

Lost in the crowd,

Hear everything so clear and loud.

Now, you are invisible,

'cause words are strong and you're feeble.

Walking aimlessly to somewhere,

Misty eyes couldn't help but stare.

Everything is wrong, nothing is fair,

Miss all the times when you were together.

Darkness seems more interesting than their light,

They won and you lost the fight.

Reached the point again from where it started,
Embracing loneliness, embracing hatred. 

Screaming, crying and ending up worse,
You know it's nothing but a curse.

Knowing that you're falling into nothing.
 Cannot fly 'cause you don't have those wings.

Where do I stand?

You have them,

They have you,

I have no one.

You love them,

They love you,

I love you,

No one loves me?

When they cry, you cry,

When you cry, I cry,

No one cries for me?

"..You always wanted me to die.."

You failed to see my tears,

You ignored all my fears,

You never hugged me tight,

You never said, "I am with you in this fight"

You never listened to my cry
you always wanted me to die.

This is just a random post. You don't have to read it. :)

"..You meet a lot of people in your life but it will always be the same. You like them, you love them. They change and you hate them.."

 

I'll be 18 in 4 months. I don't want to be 18 :) I never wanted to 17 either. But it's not under my control. Nothing is under my control. I don't know where I am going to be. A lot of people ask me from where do the emotions come in my poems. And you know? I don't know it either. I just write. I write what I see, what I think and what I feel. I am different and weird. I get easily amused and I trust easily. It makes me sad when people die or something bad happens to them, no matter if I don't know them or they live 1000 miles away.  People have cancer and other disease. And they'll die after few days or few months or few years but you can't help them. All you can do is hope, wish or pray. Every third person in the world is cutting/self harming. But I can't help them, not even "you" can help them. Some people are being disgusting. They are bullying in person and over Internet. People are committing suicide for being harassed. If anyone is putting a sad post on their blog or status in any social networking site then help them and if you can't then just keep your mouth shut. "Get a life before telling anyone that they should die." You are no one to decide who should live and who should die. There life is already terrible, they want to live so please don't kill them. I think this way which makes me more gloomy. I do not smile all the time but yes it's not difficult at all to make me smile since I easily get amused. One thing I have added on my hate list is "homophobes" I really hate them more than I hate liars and hypocrites.

She came running through;

wearing no smile, wearing no shoe,

in dark lonely street,

with bruised feet..

She was scared,

and despaired.

A nightmare was chasing her,

Almost like , caught in fire,

Vile intentions burned her body and soul,

Manipulated her world, manipulated the whole.

"Sometimes"

Sometimes it's better,

to keep your pain to yourself,

Sometimes it's better, 

not to turn the pages from the past,

Sometimes it's better,

to stay quiet and wait,

for fate to show its charm,

Sometimes it's better, 

to change yourself for someone else. 

"Choco's blah, blah.." =)

Tears might drown me,

but I am bound to do,

What is in my fate,

Yes, it's too late,

I've to pretend that I don't know you,

And I can't see.

"This fairytale has no happy end.."

Long lost in fairytale,

She now has no where to run, no where to hide,
But she shall abide,

because she still has a heart of a child.


Insomnia kisses her every night,
Love makes her win all the fights,
No matter where he is,
No matter where lives


Her love would say,
Enchanting thoughts drifting away.
Fleeting words now make no sense.
She is numb, she is lost.

One thousand souls around her don't moan,
But she is still alone.
Neither her prince charm came,
Nor her friends are same.

This fairytale has no happy thought,
'cause she is tangled within the knot,
This fairytale has no happy end,
'till she learns to bend.

P.S. You know I hate hurting people. I am sick and tired of it. I try my best not to hurt them.. One year and 3 months of friendship but he still doesn't understand me and neither do I. I am the lamest person one can ever have in their life. I can never be happy nor I can make anyone. I am just so stupid, it's his birthday in 17 days and just like last year I have hurt him. I feel like I have come back again to the same time where I was all alone, where I wasn't knowing anyone. The only difference is that now I have no real life friends.