December 12th wasn't a bad day.

So, what does a good day feel like? Do you feel like it's a good day when you wake up? Does life give you hints that something good is about to happen? You never know which is the good day or the bad day until it happens. It's just one moment that decides or makes things good and bad. If I had not forced myself out of my bed today then it wouldn't have happened. I don't know what got into me today that I got out of my bed, dressed up, and went to college for the interview and didn't walk out saying "It's a waste of time(It was kind of waste of time though)." 

I wanted to prove something. I wanted to do it for myself and I did it but I'm not entirely satisfied. I believe that I'm lucky enough that very few people turned up for the interview. The placement department was expecting around 100 students but barely 65 showed up, among which a few students walked out because they were not interested or thought that they were too cool for the job. I felt like I could make it so I stayed and made a friend stay with me as well. We did the HR round(Earlier I wasn't aware that we were only going to have the HR round so I was ready for the written as well) and we both got selected. Actually all the girl candidates got selected so weeeeee. Nah. We only had the HR round and there was nothing technical or core knowledge involved. 

The interviewer only wanted to check the communication skills for the girls because it's a backend job. Some were bad and I wasn't great either(I hate to talk and I suck at it) but I managed to impress him somehow and I'm bloody sure that I impressed him because he made me say something(that I already told him when he asked me about my views on the "current scenario of freshers in India" in the HR round.)  in group chat with other girl candidates and he said that I was absolutely right. YAY.

Okay so I didn't have to do the written test, group discussions, technical interviews and whole bunch of other selection process except the HR round and I got selected with everyone else but you know what makes me happy? I stood out in the crowd. I was different. I made mistake like everyone else but I was different and I got noticed. I feel better about myself now like I can do something. And maybe I'm as bad as I think I am. I feel better. But here's the thing, I won't be doing this job. Yup, I'm not travelling to Gurgaon to work in the backend for a 10k Salary. I can earn more than that in my own state and do something better than that. I wanna do something in which I can improve, learn and grow.. something that makes me happy. I don't want the easy way out.

The other reasons why I'm not joining the company is because my parents don't want me to go to gurgaon. They are pretty much scared by the recent rape incidents. And the expenses yes, I don't want my parents to pay for my stay and food and other things. They have given me enough and now it's my turn to give them back. But before that, I need to get a job(eh). Hopefully I'll get one.