"..Christmas wish.."

Its christmas.. and I am still sad. The smile on my face is a fake one. I hope if I could really stay happy. Why my wishes never come true? Am I too bad? Hmm I'm listening to Fall for you. And I like his voice. =] I have no idea why I am feeling sad.

Dear Santa, 

My christmas wishes are different from others. There are some questions in my mind which makes me cry. I only need their answers and also something more than that.

I want to know why She did become so mean?  Why does she lie everytime we meet her? Why does she hate us? What will she get by doing so? Why did she become so special to me and Why did she make me cry?

Why mr. Selfish hates me? Why did he come so close to me? Why did he stop me from crying? Why did he do stuffs only to make me smile? Why was he ashamed of hosting Teacher's day with me? If we were best friends then why did my height matters to him? After making me laugh and smile why did he left me like that? Why is he giving me tears now? 

Why for my best friends, their Girlfriends are more important than me? Why didn't they get mad, why they didn't slap me when I stopped eating and also when they saw the cut on my wrist?

 Why I have no one to tell me I am not alone? :( My christmas wish is:

I want an Angel to guide me and be with me. I want to meet someone really special. I want Mr. selfish back as my friend. I want my best friends to care for me. I want Her to be the way she was earlier. I want my mom and dad to trust me. I want my brother to be sweet just like the way when he was 5 years old. 

I wish If I could be happy... =[