"..pages from my dairy.."

6 April 2011


15th day in hostel and I cried few hours back. Not because I miss home or my family. This place is more like home. Uncle and Aunty are really sweet. And Srishti, Anubha and Divya treat me like their little sister. Actually I cried because it's been more than 3 days and Saket is neither replying to my texts nor to my phone calls. I am worried and I feel like may be he or his family has got into some sort of trouble. I cried because I feel like may be he is alone. I hope he is fine and I hope to see him soon.

P.S. Its a sheduled post. I wrote this in my hostel 

"..Bitter and Sweeter.."

Cried my eyes out,

I don't why I still doubt.

There's just a bit too much pain,

May be I'm insane.

So tired of being betrayed,

So tired of being unwanted;

My heart cries, 

and my soul dies.

I wish life was a fairytale,

and everything had a happy end.

And I know,

Reality is bitter,

Only dreams are sweeter.. 

P.S. Yeah I know I am not suppoesed to be here. I have got board exams..but I'm not feeling good these days..a lot of things got messed up..not my exams o.O which ish nice :) Wish me luck.. bye ^_^ 

Mom and dad's 18th anniversary :)

Its my mom and dad's 18th anniversary :)  Wanna know how I wished them today? Well I didn't have money so I didn't buy anything. I had practical exams and I'm sick so I didn't even make anything. I went in mom and dad's room give them one kiss and said "Happy anniversary" :)

I don't how is it going to be. Well till now it went all good but still I'm scared. I'm not afraid or may be I am? I don't know. But I know that I'm not the old "chocolate lover" who wanted everything best(atleast not for now). My days aren't the best but it is okay. And I have learned to live with it. Now I know that jerks will keep hating me.

Umm today was my chemistry practical(board one). And it went awesomely well :P I got the right radicals and functional group and titration too was good. LOL the good thing is I didn't throw up in the chemistry lab. Smell of chlorine, ammonia and rotten egg made me more sick.

Anyways I don't write any "happy" post 'cause everything gets messed up and I end up crying for stupid thing!

Well I won't be blogging for a while. I nedd to study. The coming days are really important for me. And my hard work would tell how my future is going to be. I have got board practicals this week and then a lot and lots of things I need to study! Hopefully I will do good. 

well anyways I did a cover :) My inspiration for doing covers is Jarrod Matthew. I love him. He has got an amazing voice (:

The song is Say what you will :)
 Please do tell me how it is :)

FUN!!! :D :P :O

HAHAHAHAHA!! yesterday was awesome :3 Wany sir (our English teacher) is Prince's (My best friend) dad. :P And he doesn't know that Prince has a GF (Actually he knows but he pretends as if he doesn't :P) So he asked a question to Divya(Prince's GF) But she couldn't reply :P :D haha! Then he said "where's your brother.. PRINCE??!!" XDD LMAO we started giggling.. somehow we controlled ourselves and we didn't laugh for a minute. But as he left the room we all counted..1..2..3.. and started laughing XDD and kept teasing Divya for the whole day and it wasn't like this happened for the first time with Divya.

Actually "Tragedies" and Divya are just meant for each other.  Last month on 22nd December, we(all gals and Tunesh) stole a peice of sodium from the chemistry lab :P And in the last period we took it out in the school ground and Divya started pouring water on it. At first it kinda started melting o.o so she kept pouring more and more :D and it exploded >.< Geez it was so scary. She was screaming in pain. That white liquid kinda thingie went in our faces and clothes and in her (Divya's) eyes!! D: We were so damn scared. But then we informed our teachers and they asked her to wash her face and eyes and after a few minutes, everything was back to normal. :)

Ohh btw, this video (ain't so long so watch it, its only of 45 sec.) was made yesterday by me. Ayush ish trying to do a stunt. The quality sucks because it was captured in Divya's cellphone :P 

Jealous and angry, Messed up mood!!

Tunesh lied. And I'm so angry. He is my best friend and he is so not supposed to lie!! :| Aaah he called me up asked me if I am going to Anisha's birthday party. 

Me: Party? ummm not, not been invited!

He: hmm, same. I am not going either and I just came to know about the party from someone.

Me: ohh okay.

But ACTUALLY he did go for the party and didn't tell me a thing? WHY did he lie?? (=.=||) Aaah I cried. Wow! He seriously doesn't like her(he told me that) then why the hell he went for the party!! And on my birthday? He wished me around 1 pm. And he didn't even came to my party! I had to celebrate it all alone. :( It sucks!! Why it always happens to me? Omg.. Is he going to backstab me? He is just like anyone else in my life! I seriously don't remember a thing that he did for me. He really did nothing for me. He'll never do. He didn't even say a thing when he found that I had cut my wrist and didn't even care to ask why I did so? Even my parents don't know a thing. They haven't even seen my scars.

No one is ever going to care.

And when I'll die,

The only thing I'll leave behind,

would be tears in their eye,

and not my absence in their life.

P.S. don't tell me that I have my parents who care for me 'cause I know how my life is like. Its crappy!! And it will always remain the same.

"..school stuffs and life.."

I feel good. =] I'm surprising everyone in my class. I haven't cried since my birthday. Craps still happening in my life. Kritika started talking to me. o.O She ish definately the one who wants me to die. Wow!! Does she know how the hell I survived. How I felt? =/ I would have killed myself seriously. errrr its good I guess 'cause she was wrong. =]

Its cold and raining. >.> but I want it to snowww  >_< It never snow-ed here in Chhattisgarh. We were hugging and cuddling in the class. xD Umm yesterday, I quarreled with Tunesh. Arghhh yes I felt annoyed. Am I getting jealous of Pooja? Yesterday and even today, I kinda didn't like it when he talked to her. And my friends started calling me Sheela ki beti!! O.O Yesh my mommy's name is Sheela v.v !! And I found "My name is Sheela, Sheela ki jawani.." written on the last page of Meraj's notebook.>.> ?

They love to tease me and I love getting teased :P

Wearing hoodies these days ^_^ I love hoodies ♥ bahaha I look like penguin in winter o.o !! Oh well, a weird thing happened today. While coming back from school, I just felt that Saket ish somewhere near and when we reached near the Fuel station.. I saw him o.o and he saw me o.o and I don't know why I smiled back at him!! v.v We are not friends anmore. I want to hate him but I can't stop caring for him. And If you are thinking about the so called poem "..Last night.." on my blog, then yesh It was really ME and those stuffs had happened to me.

Anyways, I kinda feel sick now. Already have headache and I feel like throwing up (~_~) Umm this time I wanna celebrate christmas with Srishti, Anubha and everyone. But I guess the plan won't work =/ Just a month and then no more school >_< !! Eeeh I need a time machine >.> ? Anyone listening? I really need a time machine. I wanna live those moments again! =[

Updates!! ^_^

29th November: We didn't win any match. :3 Yellow house didn't even reach the finals d(-_-)b don't have players D; Though we lost but I was happy 'cause I enjoyed alot :D and everyone else was thinking that I have gone mad :O :P I sh so freaking dead <.<  One more thing D: kritika's eye ish bleeding o.O and most of them went to her place to see if she ish okay :O and suchita took my scooty and you know what.. she broke the mudguard!! d(-_-)b Now my scooty sounds like khrrrrr khrrrr!! O.o

30th November: weee awesome o.o.. I had a great day o.O we won xD yesh yesh yellow house won :3 we reached the finals of wheel race both boys and girls but we lost :P its okay ^_^ then we had some sorta dispute between the house leaders o.o and blue house were almost disqualified O.o but we sort it out soon ^_^ and continued with the rests. We had some minus markings too <.< and we reduced other houses' points too xP bahahaha then we had junior dodge ball for girls and we reached final again o.o and we lost :P and then senior girls doodge ball :3 and we reached finals again and yesh I was in the team :P aT FIRST WE HAD A TIE AND THEN TIE BREAKER MATCH AND THIS TIME WE WON ^_^ I was damn tired and I might have collapsed in the ground. o.o but somehow i reached my class and i fell asleep :P My head was hurting badly and my legs too >.> I never run but yesterday I did :O And Barkha hit my head with ball accidently <.< lol xD It was awesome lol. Everyone laughed but its okay xD I went home and collapsed on my bed. Can't believe I didn't eat anything and I played well o.o and won the match too :D Well other house members were happy for me and my house.. Really happy, more happy than me! :3

 

P.S. I'm sorry that I couldn't visit your blog in time. I am busy with my school stuffs and sports. And my knee hurts like hell and it looks horrible. I can't even walk! >.<

don't read :P

My knee hurts badly T_T and its still bleeding..  Arghh.. well today ish sunday and I gotta go to school for preparing stuffs for annual sports o.o Oh yeah I am the captain of yellow house. But I have been hurt, and I don't know how the hell 'am I going to play!!? I'm not much into sports but I play dodge n' ball and Shot put!

This time we are going to have kabbbadi and kho too o.O I don't know 'bout kho.. 'cause I never played it in my life 'till now o.o And I am not in mood of playing either ^_^ Guys gonna have cricket and table tennis. We were supposed to have Football but due to some reasons and also lack of time, it's been removed from the list.

Arghh I'm so angry at her :| She doesn't trust me. She broke my cell phone (T^T) She should kill me if she doen't trust me ^_^ Arghh.. thats why I didn't want to grow up. I'm seventeen and I'm still being hit. The only thing ish, I just let it be. Now I don't cry for whole day like before. I have got IIT's form and I have been told by my mom that I won't be allowed to appear the exam if I get Bhilai or some other place as my centre! Lame ain't it? Why did they even do "meherbani" on me? For doing anything that I want, I have to listen to their blah blah!!

Komal is lame lol. Yesterday she WAS doing some work and Meraj was going somewhere :P and she was like "Meraj Sunno na!!" Ohh geez lol who the hell talks like that to their class mates?? :P

I hope everything goes well! And I know My house gonna loose :3 Just wanna enjoy :D the time with friends! Yup yup sports gonna start tomorrow :3 hehe! I don't know what Saket gonna do 'cause he hates me and I feel like he's going to do something which won't be good for our house. And may be won't even come to play!! (v__v||)

3rd accident! :O

3rd accident of this year. Well last year, I used to have at least 1 accident every month so I guess it's not too bad :P !! I'm in pain right now. My knee is still bleeding v_V I haven't told this to Tunesh 'cause I know he'd be mad at me. :O And yet again it wasn't my fault. Actually after Maths tution, me, PPG, Neeraj and Meraj were going back home together. We didn't stop at our "Adda" today. The other guys were still there but we left. Me and Neeraj were ahead and Meraj and PPG were behind us.

I was going really slow since Neeraj was on his bicycle and PPG too 'cause Meraj was on cycle. But suddenly, I don't know what the heck happened but Meraj was in my way and then bam!!! CRASH!! lol :P I fell, and my favorite blue jeans was torn and my knee was bleeding. At that time I couldn't to stand. :O Neeraj helped me to stand up lol XD, and in no time other guys (Prince, Kishan, Pankaj, Manish, Manni and Praveen) rushed to where we were. Meraj was holding me o.o and was supporting me.

It was dark(no street lights).. o.o so since every wanted to see the wound and also wanted to know if I'm okay they used their bike's headlight.:P It was hurting like hell O_O And then Meraj and others kinda argued and were like "we should take her to docs." and some were saying "Geez! yup she needs a doctor!" and I was like "eehh no! I'm okay. Its not too deep." Actually I hate doctors and was scared too. and after that

Meraj said, "Hey let me drop you home"! But I was stubborn and I was saying, "Uh no it's fine. I'm okay and I can go on my own"

Meraj again: "You just sit(pointing at the seat), I'll drop you" But I won. haha. :P I was still in pain!!

We headed to my home. And it kinda looked funny. It was only me and the guys were looking like my body guards. Fun! But then only Prince came with me to my home. We both lied and told that some crazy guy tried to overtake and I fell while trying to save him and the guys beat him for this!! XD Mom medicated it. But its still hurting and bleeding.

P.S. weird o.o Me and Meraj don't really talk. o.O He never took my name! o_O

What I did today? o.o

Hmm nothing special.. I was up for the whole night o.o but still missed the tution 'cause I was damn tired. Reached school in time. English test was well :) I was thinking 'bout mark for the whole day. I am really worried for him. Two periods of physics are annoying. :| PPG was slapped by Tiwari sir. Actually, PPG, Ayush, Tunesh, Saket, Meraj, Pankaj, Neeraj and others decided to join two rows of desks together. :P Tiwari got mad o.o and punished them :P He made them to kneel down on the floor for 2 periods :P Though Tunesh escaped it soon :P Umm I was completing my Physics notes in first three periods :) We did chemistry practicals and it was fun XD Specially the test for Nickel o.o The test tube looked awesome o.o.. Simran's hand burned 'cause of concentrated H2SO4 , We put NH4OH on her hand XD but it was still burning o.o.. Hmmm Hindi was boring and annoying like always. We laughed a lot in Games Period haha! :P And went to Kindergarten section after ages o.o, Saket was just saying "selfish" whenever I passed by o.o !! And he came on my way twice :P lame haha! :3 I came back home and had "Palak paneer" :)) I was about to lay on my bed but before that I texted Mark.I don't remember anything after that.. I just collapsed o.O

don't give a damn to this title thingie!

I am so pissed off. Why do people die? :/ I'm missing harpreet again. I cried a while ago. Mark deleted his MYB account and I guess deactivated his FB account too :/ Mylor and Mark broke up and Mark just ate a lot of chocolates. My head hurts badly now. Its 2 am and I'm up writing this post, hating God and cursing. Why do they hate me? I meant by Kritika and Saket.. =/ I befriended Riya and Divya. We are sorta good friends now. On the other hand, I have even stopped looking at Saket. :/ I was studying for the whole day and late night, my bo pissed me off. I am going to stay up for the whole night and anyways, I have got tution after 3 hours so I guess I'll be studying again. :| I'm kinda mad at mom and dad too. I'm such a looser. I just can't do anythng. Its 23rd November and I haven't got the IIT form yet! Heck someone please get me a form somehow, I'll love you forever. My parents are so lame and mean, they can't even get me a form to appear IIT and they want me to be an ENGINEER awesome v.v !! Feeling really alone right now.

You don't have to read this!! ^_^

Your best friends betrayed you and you forgave them but still they keep doing the same thing.

you have relatives who don't want you and your family to be happy and they keep doing shits to destroy your family.

You have such uncles and aunts who wants nothing but to kick you out of the school.

You have awesome friends who don't remember your birthday but you still hope that they'll wish you at 12am? But then, you find that its 1 pm and your friends haven't wished you yet and you still care to invite them for your birthday party and like lame creatures they tell you that they can't come.

You have egoistic friends for who their ego, their respect ish more important than your birthday, your tears and your feelings.

You feel alone on your birthday even when you have your friends to celebrate it?

Your bestfriend wished to die before you and God made her wish come true?

You have mean parents who don't let you to go and visit your dying friend just 'cause they think you are a 15 year old naive?

And they are so mean that they won't even let you to go at her funeral and when you are crying and missing her; they yell at you!?

You still miss your dead friend everyday and especially when a friends betrays you and do You write poems to express how much you miss her?

You have a bro who makes you feel like crap.

Your mom ever told you that you are nothing but a burden to them?

Your mom and bro calling you a bitch, a slut and ugly fattie?

Ever felt that your parent's care for you ish nothing but like some sort of slow poision killing you every minute?

Your mom still hits you and beats you with sticks and other stuffs even when you are seventeen?

You have an ex-friend who hates you so much that she wants you to cry and die

You know people across the huge oceans who wants you to be happy and when they look at your sucidal status, they stop you from dying?

Your favorite teacher tried to blame you in a false case of cheating and bluffing and conspiring against the head girl of the school.
Your mom telling you that you are friends are mean but actually they are not atleast not like them. She wont let you to give your notes to anyone and instead she would just expect from the world to help you.

Ever been told by a stupid doctor that you have stomach tumor?

But actually it's not stomach tumor but its ovarian tumor/cancer(a silent killer).

You have a lot of guy friends and you have told everything to your mom about them and their GFs but your mom still don't trust you and calls you a slut then what would you do?

Ever felt that its suffocating at home and ever felt home at school with friends?

Do you feel like dying after having the above craps in your life?

Someone does.. she's trying to be happy and make others happy. She doen't have any hopes and she thinks her life ish really miserable. She writes suicidal notes but she never wants anyone to get worried 'bout that. She has almost decided to kill herself but something hold her back. She ish just too sensitive. The world thinks she's a crazy emo kid but that's not true.

so called trip!! o.O

We all woke up at 4:30 am for tutions. It was so dark. At tution PPG asked me to come with them to have tea in the tea stall. I nodded and he said, "YEH hui na MARDO wali baat"!!! I was like "lmao what?" xD o.O and after the tution we found that it was all foggy. o.o It was fun. Me and PPG went crazy with our scooties. xD So we went for so called "school trip". It wasn't really a trip but for us it was. Actually, Columbia institute of engineering and technologry, Raipur invited us to visit their college. We were supposed to leave at 9 am but the bus was late like an hour late O_O. We were getting bored so we did stuffs and others were tickling me! >.< Saket ish trying really hard to seek my attention. o.o Arghhhh -.-" why do I even smile at him? And why did I give him "my bottle" when he asked for water??? -.-" He asked twice and both times I gave him!! We left at 10:30 am.  Tannoo's uncle died but still she was smiling. :) We had fun. We were singing and dancing and cracking weird jokes!

Harsh, me and Neeraj

Ayush trying to be cool :P

Kishan with dairy milk >_> He's trying to make me jealous!! o.o

Ummm we reached there at 12 and it was like some seminar! o.o The fat uncle who was speaking like for an hour obviously didn't like us. >_> He insulted Saket and Kishan! v___V

Girls!! :P

Meraz, Simran and Tannoo o.o

Inside the bus!! :D

We didn't like the campus much. We were damn so hungry, We just had chips and chocolates and kurkure on the way! Most of us really didn't eat anything since morning. Around 2 pm these people took us to the canteen. And guess what was for the refreshment? It was "puri and chane ki sabzi". And they gave us only one plate for each which had 4 puris and sabzi but those puris were really small and thick. arghhh !! >.< Lame people. :/ At 3 pm, we all left :) we dropped Riya and Tanno in Arang and Saket and Lokesh somewhere and Manni at his Dhaba =] and reached home at 4 pm ^_^

Kishan, PPG and Ayush!!

We couldn't go to Humaira's birthday! V____V

Love ya sis. Just miss the way we used to be! =]

I want to hate Saket again. o.o Best friends don't talk behind your back :/ and arghh I didn't want to see his face then why the hell I smile at him and why does he looks at me?

"Holi" with "Mehendi" :P

we had children's day today in school. xD It was fun o.o ! Enjoyed a lot :D Ayush was playing guitar and everyone else were singing. xD He was in song competition and he was awesome o.o and Meraz too and Suchita and Srishti and Divya were amazing xD . We sang the same two songs for 6 hours. xP Some get annoyed of it but it was nice :P and then Ayush and other guys planned to have a "blast". xDD They were about to burn crackers in the school corridor and boys toilet but it flopped. xP They told this only to me and no one else amongst the girls were knowing 'bout it! We had mehendi competition and boys too took part in that o.o and they were no way less than girls. xD I took in mehendi competiton..i dont know bout the result but everyone liked mine o.o Divya betrayed me again >.> she didn't give me her hand and at last I made it on Rupesh's hand. :P and four other people includes three guys and a girl :P lol xD and then everyone made it on Pranay's hand :D we wrote "head boy Pranay Thite" and made flowers and a balloon and some weird looking stuffs. o.o Everyone was so damn interested in Mehendi and guys omg.. they too put that mehendi on their hand!! xD Later the guys played HOLI with MEHENDI!! :P They put mehendi on Pankaj's head. o.o Pankaj got mad and he put it on their face and later guys too put mehendi on him. xD We are going to a school trip tomorrow. o.o

Me and friends and love!! o.o

I am here O_O First of all, hello readers :P I have decided that I wont eat chocolate for the next two days! Hmm.. some of you already know it through my fb status! :P And like I said no one should talk about chocolate here!!! :o

hmmm.. I am again gonna talk 'bout the love bug and my best friends o.o (don't make faces). I am getting bored at home so I was just thinking (I make a mess when I think) I miss the way I used to be with my friends. And oh yeah, those people who are thinking that choco is thinking to be in relationship then you all are wrong!! o.O I am happy in being single :D

But I miss my friends and the chats and time that we spent together. And I am confused why are these guys fighting and are jealous of? Tunesh, Saket, Manish and Prince and Kishan are jealous and you won't believe it sucks when they get jealous. They talk to me like, " Yeah yeah he is your best friend, Bestest friend, Close friend and so on" They are always ready with their emotional atyachar( no I'm not talking about the show on UTV Bindaas! o.o)

And few days back when me and Prince were late for physics tution, we both decided to wait outside for others to come out.(we were half an hour late) And when everyone came out, Tunesh and Saket gave us a suspicious look! o_O and went for chemistry tution! There they both burst on me. They were like, "haan tu bas isi tarah ghumte reh ladko ke saath!!" and I was so angry.. If it wasn't Prince but them then will they still say that? o.O

I don't give a damn to what the world thinks about me. The only thing that bothers me is what my friends think. I won't stop meeting or talking to my friends just because the world thinks its wrong. :/ And if my friends have probs with each other then they should not ask me to stop talking to their enemies(or whatever). Tunesh should not tell me that he is good and he is bad. I know my limitations and I know who is good and who is bad??!!

Now about the love birds!! o.o (My friends duh!) Mark is happy with Mylor and they both look cute together ^_^ but if Mylor does anything to Mark then he has to pay for it! v_V

Prince and Divya are happy in their own little world :o and Wany sir and ma'am (His mom and dad) likes their "badi bahu" :P (yeah they know about their relationship) Wany sir and Ma'am are so cool lol xD

Alan and Merly are so damn cute and awesome o.o ! Darshita and tunesh are adorable :D Tannoo and Kishan are really cute and sweet and funny :P and Pooja and Saket.. o.O Idk! lol XD I dont like his gf :P and no specific reason..

I love my friends and I am happy that now they have found someone special but then in the end its like "Girlfriend mil gayi toh dosto ko bhul jayega kya?" and I feel hungry now and no don't talk about chocolate O_O

A messy day!!

Caution: big post ahead!! :P

So.. I'm done with my exams. :) We don't have school for next 3 days!! Damn!! huh.. we want to spend more time with friends. We are just spending hours in school, talking 'bout nothing and teasing each other.

But today, Our teachers kicked us out of the school campus. Yesh literally kicked us out as we came out of the school building. x_X !! Blah, I don't what was wrong with them.

Before that, I wanna tell you something else too. Umm actually the thing I did yesterday.

Last night, I was talking to Saket (yes, I have again started talking to him) So he was kinda annoying me and started emotional atyachar.

He: You are good, nice, sweet, decent, lovely, kind, caring, helping, emotional and loving for your old friends. New friends are nothing to you right?

Me: you are equally special for me. Just like Tunesh and Prince. But I get more mad at you 'cause I expect alot from you. But I guess I don't mean anything to you. You just lie.

He: hey there's nothing like that!! But I know I am not good.

Me: What do u mean there's nothing like that? Isn't it true that I don't mean anything to you? And yes, you are not good 'cause you are a liar.

He:I don't lie. If you didn't mean anything to mean then I would have stopped talking to you like I did with others. And would have never appologized or cheered you up. But you won't believe 'cause I don't mean anything to you!! right?

Me: No its not like that. You are really special for me. If you were nothing for me then I wouldn't have cried for you nor would have been worried for you. But I don't know whay I feel that I don't men anything to you!

He: naah.. there's nothing like that. Drama queen!

Me: What.. drama queen? What can I say to you when you think its all drama? Listen I don't lie atleat for this stuffs. I just say what I feel whether its good or bad.

He: no, no, no. You are really my good Friend. But for you, I am your NEW friend.

Me: Shut up Saket. Friends are never new or old. Only the bond between them becomes old and how many times I have to tell that? and I that video too, I said that it's been only a year so I don't know much about you but you are really nice.

He didn't reply for like half an hour.

Me: What's wrong now? don't you wanna talk? See again, you aren't talking to me. That's why I get mad at you. Aaaaah leave it. No need to reply me. And just don't talk to me.

He(after few mins): Aaaaah geez I was having my dinner!

Me(after few mins): =/

He: What's wrong?

Me: Shriti died nothing else!

He:you are such a drama queen! :@

Me: I hate you :P

He: Yeah I know that you hate me. And everyone else does 'cause I am not nice.

Me: geez are you insane? I was kidding. I don't hate you devdaas! You really mean alot to me. And you are really special. I am really sorry. I didn't mean that. I swear I was kidding.

He: Its okay. Don't be sorry. The fact is fact. Bye.

Me: what the hell!! There's no fact in it. Try to understand. I just don't like one thing 'bout you and that's Your's and Puja's relationship. I told you many times but still you did the same. You patched up with her again and then again you broke up. And 'am sure, in few days you'll again patch up with her. And then you keep telling me that I am your best friend but you stay most of the times with Kritika and other commerce people. You insulted me during teacher's day celebration. You were even ashamed to host the show with me. And then when the thingie between me and kritika was going on.. you supported kritika not me. Thats it nothing else. well there's one more but leave it! But still this stuffs can't make me to hate you.

He: I haven't talked to kritika since last 15-20 days. And I don't talk to the commerce girls except Anisha. And I was not involved in that matter of yours and kritika. I haven't supported anyone. You don't know what the heck you are saying! And what's the last reason?

Me: do you still think that I hate you.? and everyone says that you did but please don't ask me who they were.(made him swear)

He: bye. good night, sweet dreams, take care and good luck.

Today again I texted him but he didn't reply!

And then at school.. he looked at me but I kinda ignored 'cause I was feeling bad. :/ I told this to Sush and she said: "Say I love you!!" cause earlier you said I hate you!

Me: lol shut up!! o.O

Other friends: hey wany sir once said that "..you hate only that one person you love the most.."

Me: lol geez I was kidding!!

Later after coming back from school. Texted him. Appologized him and finally we sorted it out!

P.S. would be reaching to your blogs soon ^_^

ranDomness :o

Feelin sick... Went to doc and screwed up Physics exam! hmmm talked to Tunesh and slept for almost whole day.. don't feel like eating anything but 'am hungry!

This time, me and my bro both are sick, we have got cold n cough, bodyache and fever and we both have exams tomorrow D:

Haven't studied anything. v.v umm and my cousin is coming tonight. He is older, really older.. even his kids are older than me!! o.o

Oh btw I have a new blog now. :3

Chocolaty mischieves

Try checkin it out, comment and follow :P

aaah I hate medicines and I have to take so many!! *frowny face*

"..randomness from the heart.."

Hey there :) umm sorry my exams gonna start soon so I won't be able to make any post or read yours. The first one is physics but I don't feel like studying.. Tunesh is still sick but he has been discharged from the hospital and the docs have asked him to have comeplete bed rest. That fool is still thinking 'bout me. Talking to him everyday.. just to know how is feeling. :) I told him to take rest and don't think 'bout exams and me. o.o I just want him to recover soon and come back :)

I have started ignoring Saket.. woohoo..!! -.-" Now it doesn't matter me, when he says that he means nothing to me. I just let him say that!! Not texting him and not even replying him.. Moreover I am keeping cell off!! -.-" I still feel he is using me.. and the rest idk.. i dont even wanna talk bout him!!

Oh well today nothing happened at school.. The strength was less so we didn't even study.. We didn't make noise or anything. We talked whole day (6 hours) and talked 'bout zombies, ghosts, relationships, crush and love !! o.o Well the girl thinks I am in love and they say that they can see that in my eyes!! o.O

Talked about Harpreet and God and dreams.. then one more thing.. ummm its weird and nice.. like you know.. i often feel like dying right? Oh well, sometimes I put it as my status on msn and other sites.. I know a guy.. we don't talk usually.. we never actually.. but whenever I feel so, this guy comes to me.. cheers me up, tells me about christainity and Jesus.. and even if I don't tell him what's wrong with me or what had happened, he just solves my problems. A couple of times, he made me say a prayer and told something from bible and those things really makes me smile and i feel better. I told that guy that he is like an angel 'cause whenever I've felt to end my life he just come like an angel and my problems seems easier but he says that he is a servant of Jesus and nothing else.

 And today I told this to Srishti, Anubha and Divya and they told me that I am the lucky one.. And Jesus himself is telling me that I belong to her.. They even said that they would take me to their camp someday and take me to some Father(sorry I don't remember their name) =/

Just tell me does that thing really happens? I mean why do I feel better after talking to Colby? Does Angels really exists? I haven't cried since then.. Why do those little things from bible cheers me up?

"..tears.."

"..It's said that tears never lie;

But when I cry they say that,
I and my tears lie..

and yes,

according to them,

the one who lies, cries.."

i want to die!!

Why is it happening to me?
Did I do something wrong?
Why are they cursing me now?
I was not even involved in that thingiie. I was knowing this is gonna happen thats why I asked them not to do that. My whole school thinks that I did that with some intension. But seriously I didn't want to hurt her or anyone. Why did they make me apart of it.? Why are they blaming me?
Sophia ma'am says that the whole school staff thinks that it was done by me, I have edited that video and removed those scenes in which kritika was.
But trust me I haven't done anything. The cameraman didn't captured her. So how was that my fault. That's why I didnt want to attend teachers' day. And why did she take my name?
My class mates and friends are with me (I hope) cause they told me that they are but 'am scared.. that they are going to backstab me. I dont want any kind of dispute or fight. But just cause of kritika whole school thinks I have done that. Geeez she is even including my mum's name it that my mum is trying to call and threaten her. I just feel like dying and what's the use of life huh?
Sophia ma'am has studied psychology and she told me that whatever happened with kritika was not good and it was kind of emotional torture but what bout those stuffs that she and her classmates did with me? I have been tortured since last one month.
I haven't eaten anything till now, I am crying cause I am unable to hold my tears.. am really trying hard.. and my head is hurting, I am feel pukey... umm Idk I am feeling so alone.. may be I'll talk to tanu or just go and sleep!!! I want to die seriously..