State of mind.

Detaching   while   seeking   attachment,

Smiling   while   hiding  the     sadness,

Suffocating while gulping down the pain,

Fidgeting while trying to move forward,

And carry on with life without any companion.

Another night with worthless thoughts.

Another lie     coated   with bitter truth.

Another insomniac with horrifying past and unpleasant present.

Another   page   of      unwritten  words,

Stating   the   state   of   mind.

Things   are   not   exactly   okay,

Even   though   they   look   like it.

Morbid fascination with self destruction,

Never     helped    the    undying,

Nauseous     feeling.

Love.

I  wonder  how                    it feels to love 
someone     and   to  be          loved by   them   back. 

I wonder how you can  love    someone so much that you
can't  imagine a second without  them. I wonder how love can 
make  someone  to give up  everything   for  that one person.

I wonder how  love can  make  this world a  beautiful place 
to    live. I   wonder how   just one   person  can make you 
feel    so wonderful       and   complete  when   you are 
with    them.   I   wonder         how  lovers  feel.  I 
wonder    if     I'd    able  to    love  someone

enough    to   feel    all  of      those 
things. I  wonder  if    I'll ever 
meet someone who will
  love  me that much 

and more.
-S.M.