Birthday update! o_o

Caution: Long post ahead! 

Wheeeeeee O_O Guess whose day went surprisingly awesome? :o Well, I am gonna post everything about it. I told someone about it, yesterday and I hope he wasn't annoyed. So let's start from the beginning. 

Like I had mentioned, people on twitter were already talking about my birthday and so was I! As the clock striked 12, My mention tab started to flood. Then, I got a phone call. It was from Sunakshi di. I talked to her for the first time. She wished me birthday and we talked a bit. Later, Nida, Abhishek dada, Noreen, Vikas, Ankit, Baburao, Chindi chor, Farji Engineer, Mahan Vyakti(sorry I don't remember their real name o_o) Shravan, and Amey and everyone else on twitter wished me. Amey called me up too. And yes, I talked to him for the first time over the phone! :P Haha, awkward but sweet.

Umm, my inbox and twitter mention both started flooding but my facebook was still dead sadly. I didn't know how my day was going to be or anything. But I felt happy and loved at that moment. I was constantly talking to one person at that time. And I was actually arguing. But we got over it soon. The mentions, the phone calls, whatsapp chat and everything was pleasing. And, of course, it's priceless when you ask someone to do something special and they do it. xD

I fell asleep around 1:40 AM and woke up around 5:30 AM. I checked my phone. I had an unread text from someone. When I saw the number, I knew who it was. It was Marko. Although, I was sleepy, I almost got tears but I felt good.. It was special. He was my best friend once. I couldn't fall asleep after that so I laid there awake. Around 7 am I got up and started to get ready. And at the same time mum woke up and came to my room. I was getting ready. She looked at my dress and she was like "It's 7th right? Your birthday is tomorrow, no?" I was a lil annoyed so I said, "yeah.." Then she checked her phone and calendar and she came running and hugged and apologized and wished me birthday haha. The she rushed towards her room to tell dad about it. After few mins, I heard my dad asking someone to get a chocolate cake with "Happy Birthday Lovely" written on it.

Now, while waiting for the college bus downstairs, I kept getting birthday wishes on my phone. Then when the bus came and as I stepped inside, I heard my college mates saying "HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHRITI" and I smiled and giggled and said "Thank you ^_^" Then one by one my juniors started wishing me, it was sweet. c":

On my way to college, I couldn't help but smile thinking of all the wishes.. :o Then, when I reached college and went to my department building and entered my classroom, one girl was like "Hey look!" And they all looked at me and she complimented me and everyone else smiled. Since none of them were aware of it, we were  studying and discussing about the test! Then Nutan walked in and wished me. Krishna who was standing next to me was like, "DAMMIT SHRITI! YOU SAID IT'S ON 9TH" I giggled.

Others wished me one by one and the girl who had complimented me, hugged me tight. And then, Krishna wished me and was like "Hey, we cannot hug each other but happy birthday!" and shook hands and we both laughed. o_o

During the test. Well we got the questions changed since we had studied the wrong unit 'cause of a misprinting! :P It went okay-ish. Then we had our photo session. I decided to go to chemical stream's class. There, another girl told me that I was looking good in the new dress. So I told her that it's 'cause of my birthday. And everyone else in the class heard that and they started singing the birthday song for me! o_o I giggled again (I know, I giggle a lot) and then we were taken to a lab for making a new video. It was boring and annoying. I even got a lil angry! 

When it was done, we all were heading towards the class and when we reached class, Krishna told me that he was hungry and so were the other guys so I offered him my lunch box. Other guys joined him as well and then one guy was like, "Hey it's her birthday, did you wish her?" I turned around and it was Shubham!!! And I was like "Omg you!" and then he grabbed neck from behind like he always does and then he side hugged me tightly and I was like "AAAH NO STOP!" And then he wished and said, "I was looking for you and I even called you a couple of times! Where's your phone? Ah, forget it! Where's my party?" and a lot of stuffs like that. He wants me to take him to KFC on 10th. I am glad that he hung out with me for a while. I never thought he would. Shubham is the only person who keeps arguing with me. We both love to hate each other. 

Soon when we had to go to the pharmacy building for another photography session, I saw Bhavesh walking towards me. And we both were smiling. He wished me and everyone who was sitting on the staircase stood up and wished me. It was sweet. We didn't have the viva!

When the day was done and everyone else was ready to go home, 3 guys including Krishna asked me to give them a treat so we decided to go to the cafeteria building.. I asked a couple of girls if they wanted to join but they were too tired so they refused. Krishna stopped there and asked as to go ahead and told us that he'd come in a bit. 

On our way to the cafeteria building, I met Nazm and she wished me and apologized for wishing late. I asked her not to worry about it. And then 3 more girls walked towards me, hugged me and wished me birthday and told me that they were arguing about the date.. since I had lied to everyone that my birthday was on 9th :P They even got a lil mad for lying! :o

So, we went to the cafeteria building, ordered food and when we were eating, Krishna came and said, "Stop eating so much fatty or else you'll burst like a balloon!" and it hurt me so I was like, "YOU LOVE TO RUIN MY DAY, DON YOU?" I grabbed my bag pack and left. I saw Nazm with her friends. So I went to her. Her friends wished me birthday as well and we talked. I didn't tell Nazm about what happened a bit ago. 

The two guys got me chocolates and said, "Heh, don't ruin your mood. Eat this and calm down! We are leaving, okay?" I smiled and then I told Nazm that I am not going to share my chocolates and everyone laughed. We waited for Rahul to come. o_o Rahul wasn't aware that it was my birthday so when he came, Nazm told him, and he was like, "Omg, you serious? Shriti?" and I was like, "Hahaha, no, she's lying! xD" and then he said, "I'm sorry! I didn't know that, eh happy birthday!" and I giggled and said "Thanks." Then we all walked to the other side of the road. And then they told Veeru about it. And he wished me and offered me peanuts! Yes PEANUTS!! :P And they kept teasing and making me laugh. 

When they left, I walked towards my bus and as I entered, my brother's friend wished me. I kept getting texts and calls through out the day. I was smiling on my way to home. It was good.  When I got home I got more calls even from my childhood best friend. I had never thought, my day would be that awesome. 
Fb was flooding with notifications too and people who had seen me at college and smiled at me but weren't aware of my birthday wished me and seemed a little mad as well. They were like "Couldn't you tell us?" Even Prince called me and apologized and said the same. So I told him that Shubham was aware of it so he started cursing him 'cause he didn't tell him! Everyone made my day so special. It was the best birthday of my life.

Happy 19th birthday to ME

Oh hello. Everything okay? o_o I am sorry, I'm not too good with starting a conversation. One hour and 30 minutes till I turn 19 but um, I'm gonna schedule this post. I'm typing it now 'cause I have a test tomorrow. And, I am pretty much sure I'll screw it up. But yeah I need to study and stuff.

I dunno, if I am excited or just annoyed. I know that I feel a little down about it. But you know, just like the tiny kids, I eagerly wait for this day to come. And, yes, I keep reminding people of my birthday. But this time I didn't. I don't see a point. I actually lied to my classmates about my birthday(Note: I said "classmates" not "friends"). Did I mention how much I hate them? Well, I do. Seriously. 

Well, coming back to my birthday. Ah, yeah, this day has never really been good to me. Reasons? Mum and dad end up fighting. I throw a party and no one shows up. Or Diwali vacation becomes the demon to mess everything up. Friends go out of town. Blah blah blah.

I don't know what makes me sad. Growing older or not having friends. Facebook will remind a few old mates about my birthday hopefully. And since I have been tweeting about it, people from twitter remember my birthday(the only good thing). The countdown is on!

My mum and dad have definitely forgotten my birthday it seems. They remembered it till yesterday. Ugh, I feel like crying. My eyes are almost teary. Couldn't have felt more worthless than this. I'm sorry, this post was supposed to be all cheery and stuff but, I dunno. I do not have friends anymore. o_o The person who I thought was my best friend, doesn't even talk to me. But I'm not too bothered anymore. It makes me sad sometimes but that's what life is all about. I have friends/people with whom I talk/text everyday. (Yes, they are my online friends) But I hate it more when they piss me off too, or hurt me or misunderstand me. Well, I dunno what else to say. I just want it to be good. O_O

Hey look! That's me. Smiling. Had taken it on 5th. o_o Ok bye. I need to study. o_O

Eh, I'm sorry..

There's something about every night.

Or may be you can say that

It's just one thing which turns out the light.

I lay awake in my bed,

Look up at the ceiling;

books, phone screen and laptop;

Think of the words to describe certain feelings.

I am tired and sleepy,

My bloodshot-puffy eyes are just creepy.

I refuse to get some sleep,

Feel empty and unwanted till I start to weep.

Like I've been told,

I seem like shy, quiet, lovable person from the outside,

No one really knows that I hold,

Anger, Loneliness, sadness, fear and self loathing deep inside.

I'm sorry, I am not perfect.

I'm sorry, I am always upset.

I'm sorry, I overreact,

I'm sorry, I think too much before I act.

I'm just really scared, that I'll hated on,

I really think it would've been better if I wasn't born.

I'm sorry, I can't put a smile on your face.

I'm sorry, I know that I'm missing the living grace.

I'm sorry, I push you all away,

I'm sorry, I act like "nothing happened" during the day.

Manipulation

Don't know what makes me more sad.

Sad is the world or my existence?

Existence have reasons.

Reasons that I can't find.

Find me one soon so that I stay.

Stay, so that I never leave you.

You are the one who can ruin or make my day.

My day that starts with your name, a blurry image of your crescent smile.

Smile that can take down the whole world.

World of lies and hypocrites.

Hypocrites know all their tricks.

Tricks to fool you, use you and finally manipulate you every now and then.

Questions.

Is it anxiety?

Am I anorexic?

Is it true or is it false?

Am I just sad or really depressed?

The questions linger inside my head.

Am I normal?

Am I peculiar?

What is it that really bothers?

Am I really alone or it's just my mind?

Can I see it all or am I being blind?

Is it the stress?

Is it the thoughts?

Is it the future or is it the past?

Is it something that always last?

The questions keep me awake at night.

Too tired to fall asleep and too tired to stay awake.

It's just a messy feeling that keeps hurting.

Why don't they understand?

Why didn't they never stand?

What will it take to be good enough?

Is it a fear?

Am I really scared?

Do you think I am stronger?

Do I really want my life to end?

Or is it just the troubles and pain?

Does things really get better?

Or we just get used to it and it starts bothering lesser?

Things.

There are things,

You'll never find out.

-My feelings, my thoughts,

Why I keep saying, "I've been through lots.."

There are things,

I'll never care about.

-Your race, your religion,

Your thoughts, your action. 

There are things,

You'll always dare.

-"Forget the pain, live like others,

Overlook the past and leave everything behind that bothers.."

There are things,

That I'll never share.

-My fears, my scariest secrets;

And the one who are the real culprits.

There are things,

You may find annoying.

-My action, my cry,

Me not being cheery, me wanting to die.

There are things,

I may be questioning.

-The society, my existence; My differences

And me not being able to find any resemblance.

There are things,

That you may find hilarious.

-My tears, my thinking,

My words, my writing.

There are things

That I may fake like an actress.

-Hide all the fears on the screen;

Make it all blurry, make it all unseen.

There are things,

You may never notice.

Bottled up feelings, all inside me,

I can barely show you what I see.

There are things,

That make me anxious.

-What they think, what they say,

"I hope it's good", I always pray.

There are things,

You don't find true.

And, most probably it's all about someone;

Don't be so harsh 'cause of an assumption, you'll regret & cry later on their coffin.

There are things,

I really hope I do.

-Not wait for tomorrow, finish it all tonight,

Get away from this fancy world, get away from your sight.

A part of me.

The morning's clear, 

And my mind is trying to figure out where I am,

Stains of tears and late night fear,

has been there on my cheeks all night.

I look at my phone,

To check no one giving a damn,

I turn my head and tell myself that maybe it's good to be alone;

But then the heart realized the lies I just said.

I shake my head while I throw my covers aside,

I sit up on the edge, 

Thinking, "why it has to be this way?" 

Again, as I glide,

My foot on the floor, I think of how different things can be outside the cage.

I make my way to the bathroom,

I look at my stained face,

Adoring how puffy my eyes look because of crying.

It's just me, "another girl without grace"

Secretly hoping for the bus to break down,

As I get ready for my college.

I check myself one last time before leaving my room,

And realize that I look no less than a clown!

I go downstairs, waiting for the bus,

The "honk-honk" kills all the hope,

And I make my way to the bus,

Wishing to get my favorite window seat.

But alas! How come I be so lucky?

It's been occupied again.

I sit quietly next to a girl, 

Shoving in my earphones, putting a song on loop,

I close my eyes and keep it shut till we reach the college.

When I walk towards my building,

I hope not to see people grinning.

I keep my bag pack on the table 

And wait for others to enter.

The classes start one by one in a manner,

I wait for a break desperately to have some fun but in the end

Who am I fooling? 

I hate everyone hence I am the only one who is a loner.

I stand on the balcony and look at all the happy faces,

I come back to the class,

Wait for it to end,

And finally it's all over.

On my way back to home,

I think of all the things I've done,

And secretly miss having pals,

As I close my eyes till I reach home.

The day is done.

And have survived it again.

The thoughts start crawling as the night grows older;

I know that heavy eyes had enough 'cause even the heart is colder!

It's like a depressing movie tape,

That's been stopped, rewind and played since ages,

Doesn't spectators know,

It won't make it any better?

Reasons

There are reasons, 

Why a person never seems happy. 

There are reasons,

Why some people always wear a smile. 

That one soul who doesn't seem happy anymore, 

Is no one but the person who used to wear a smile all the time.

Heaving smile, makes her feel tired,

And it seems like every endeavor is causing the pain somehow,

That one soul has been strong for a while now, 

And hopes to stay the same,

Till she's done wining the worldly game,

Till she bids her final goodbye.